IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The pie chart to show the reasons why young people don't do sport. Write at least 150 words.

The pie chart to show the reasons why young people don't do sport. Write at least 150 words.
#show #people #sport
The pie chart is designed to accurately illustrate young generation
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
 do
sport
. It can be seen that 40% of them are too busy to spend time on
sport
. The next is a third of the young do not prefer to play
sport
. The percentages were illustrated by the young people it is not suitable
as well as
 prefer to do other things, that are so quite approximate with 10% and 12%.
Finally
, 5% of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation can't do
sport
 for the reason that it's too expensive for them.
Submitted by ngovhngoc on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sport with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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