IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart to show the reasons why young people don't do sport.

The pie chart to show the reasons why young people don't do sport.
#show #people #sport
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The pie chart is designed to accurately illustrate young generation
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
 do
sport
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that 40% of them are too busy to spend time on
sport
Use synonyms
. The next is a third of the young do not prefer to play
sport
Use synonyms
. The percentages were illustrated by the young people it is not suitable
as well as
Linking Words
 prefer to do other things, that are so quite approximate with 10% and 12%.
Finally
Linking Words
, 5% of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation can't do
sport
Use synonyms
 for the reason that it's too expensive for them.
Submitted by ngovhngoc on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sport with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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