IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many people think that museums and galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. Do you agree?

#people #museums #galleries #show #work #artists #countries
The artistic
Correct article usage
Artistic
show examples
 museums and galleries have always been popular locally and globally.
Hence
, showcasing various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
art
 from different countries more than local
forms
 of
art
 has been a contentious topic. In my opinion, striking a balance between local
art
forms
 and global
art
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
 would provide a holistic artistic experience to visitors. The infamous arts from worldwide
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 brought numerous visitors and
such
 a movement
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 immense exposure to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums and galleries.
However
, showcasing local
forms
 of
art
 not only
praise
Correct subject-verb agreement
praises
show examples
 local artists but
also
share
Correct subject-verb agreement
shares
show examples
 the local culture and customs with a wide array of
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
. It would bring a number of opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local artists to bring forth their unique arts and enhance creativity.
Moreover
, marketing regional
art
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of the world will provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural recognition and identity to the local people.
Therefore
, institutions,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 museums and
gallerie
Correct your spelling
galleries
, should present regional
art
 and global
art
.
Hence
, these activities are reprehensible for an enriched cultural exchange among people and bring forth a sense of
inclusivit
Correct your spelling
inclusiveness
,
respect
Correct word choice
and respect
show examples
 and build vibrant communities. In conclusion, institutions should foster a balance between showcasing local and global
art
forms
. There are numerous benefits associated
like
Change preposition
with
show examples
 cultural exchange, identity formation of local
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
, bring recognition to local artists from all over the world.
Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question throughout, providing a clear stance and fully developing your argument.
Task Achievement
Enhance clarity by expanding on ideas with specific, relevant examples to support your viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring a clear progression of ideas from introduction through to conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more cohesively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Heritage
  • Regional Culture
  • Economic Benefits
  • Local Talent
  • Authentic Local Art
  • Diverse Perspectives
  • Mutual Understanding
  • Balanced Approach
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Artistic Styles
  • Innovations
  • Global Reputation
  • Exhibitions
  • Preservation
  • Promotion
  • Unique Aspects
  • Educational Experience
  • Mutual Understanding
  • Tolerance
  • Stimulating the Economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: