IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, the government pays for health care. In others, the individual must pay for their own health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each system.

#countries #government #health #care #system
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Social security has been debated by not only economist but
their
Rephrase
also their
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 citizens who have knowledge on security
basis
Correct your spelling
based
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of
Change preposition
on
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 economics
also
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that
Correct word choice
whether
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this
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 welfare should be provided for everyone or not. From my perspective, I strongly partially
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social security is supposed to be the basic welfare
as well as
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 it is the appropriate way to improve our
economic
Replace the word
economy
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 and environment. To illustrate
further
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 living in uncomfortable circumstances has the potential to treatment
top ranked
Add a hyphen
top-ranked
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 hospital leading to not only reducing the cost of treatment but their citizens
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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an opportunity to spend their money to improve their wealth or knowledge
also
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.
In addition
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, some countries, Thailand
in particular
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, which use
this
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 solution called the 30 bath project, possible to improve the healthcare infrastructure
casing
Correct your spelling
causing
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 Thailand’s GDP at that time,
grew
Change the verb form
to grow
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 higher than ever before
historical
Correct word choice
apply
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.
Nonetheless
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, despite the benefits above, it has various gigantic drawbacks that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 is supposed to be concerned
significantly
Change preposition
about significantly
show examples
.
For example
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. Admittedly, in
this
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 era, most countries absolutely became
the
Correct article usage
an
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aging-society
Correct your spelling
ageing society
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.
For
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this
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 reason, the administration
whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
operating
this
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 solution must intensively worry about
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 number of elder
people
Use synonyms
 increasing in the foreseeable future,
otherwise
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,
policymaker
Fix the agreement mistake
policymakers
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 will spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of their financial resources
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in need,
As a result
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, their budget
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not
adequate
Change the adjective
adequately
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 causing either the deficit budget or their credit rating will be downgraded by
credit
Add an article
a credit
the credit
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 rating agency, namely the moody and standard&poor.
In addition
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,
this
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 policy is
moral
Correct article usage
a moral
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 hazard outstanding, as
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
this
Linking Words
 welfare is not sufficiently
take
Wrong verb form
taken
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 care of
myself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 causing society
as well as
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 economic problem in the future.
To conclude
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,
this
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 method is the best way, in the case that, these countries
not became
Change the verb form
did not become
show examples
Add an article
an aging
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aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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 state.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
Correct article usage
the involver
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involver
Fix the agreement mistake
involvers
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 must
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem and their financial resources
adequate
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by amittawin on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • financial burden
  • preventive care
  • taxpayer expense
  • wait times
  • overuse
  • competition
  • personal responsibility
  • inequality in access
  • financial devastation
  • necessary care
What to do next:
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