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Band 2

Communication and personality Some people fail at school but end up being successful in life.

#communication #personality #people #school #life
In order to be
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
, knowledge is important.
However
, schools don’t teach us every
skills
Change to a singular noun
skill
show examples
. Some skills that we have to learn from life too, and more experiences from life
people
 will be more
successes
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
Firstly
, schools teach us all the same subjects, some
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 we find
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hard to adopt or unsuitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our ability.
According to
 human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, we
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 our own
uniqe
Correct your spelling
unique
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 but
also
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
. So
fail
Wrong verb form
failing
show examples
 at
school
 does not mean we have no opportunity to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
Secondly
,
School
 still do not teach us
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 skill which we need in real life
such
 as financial management,
Correct word choice
and leading
show examples
leading
Replace the word
leadership
show examples
 skill. Some
people
 do not at
school
 but they learn these important skills
which is
Verb problem
that
show examples
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
 their career.
Thirdly
,
People
 do not stop learning and improving themselves after
school
. They keep learning things on their own, doing
self education
Add a hyphen
self-education
show examples
. The world is always changing so
people
learn
Correct pronoun usage
who learn
show examples
 to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 current situations will get more opportunities to be wealthy.
To sum up
. To be successful
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 many elements but
non stop
Add a hyphen
non-stop
show examples
 learning and improving ourselves is the key. As long as we try our best, we will be who we want sooner or later.
Submitted by nguyenthitinh1995lc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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