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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many cannot speak or present well in public. Some people think that it is important to speak well in public, so the training should be from school. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #school
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There are a significant number of
people
Use synonyms
 who can not speak or present well in public meetings.
However
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, training should be given at school, as it is urgent to speak better in public which is believed by some individuals. I completely agree with
this
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 statement, as it is an emergency to prosper in
this
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 competitive world.
To begin
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 with, public speaking is too crucial in our lives, as we need to manage
people
Use synonyms
 in our daily activities.
Firstly
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, it helps us to remove all the inertia from our mouths
that is
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 required to be a smart citizen.
Moreover
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, if a person wants to do a corporate job, he or she must be good at speech.
Otherwise
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, their products or services will not be taken by
people
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, as they do not have the ability to give a clear message to their potential customers.
For example
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, very few
people
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 would use Nogod, a mobile banking, in Bangladesh,
while
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 Solaiman Sukhon, a social media influencer, started to promote publicly, their customers increased dramatically.
Although
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 many
people
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 can develop their speaking
quality
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 within a very short period of time,
in contrast
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, I think the practice should start in schools. Even though there are lots of platforms to raise public speech
quality
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, the schools are best as they get the chance to speak daily in front of their peers.
For instance
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, a study was conducted in Pakistan, they found that the students who sang songs in educational institutions became good speakers in their later life.
To conclude
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, public speaking
quality
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 is definitely needed by
people
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 in
this
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 modern world, as it is required for a healthy business,
quality
Use synonyms
 education, and to build a healthy nation. As it requires a significant time to develop, so, I think the practice should start from schools.
Submitted by zobaermasum12 on

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task achievement
Ensure to maintain a balance in mentioning examples and supporting your main points with evidence as it will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure slightly by ensuring that every sentence naturally flows into the next. Achieving a seamless flow will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Introduction is present, and it clearly sets the stage for the discussion, making it clear what stance you're taking.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the argument presented.
task achievement
Included relevant and specific examples, such as the Nogod case in Bangladesh, which helps to contextualize the argument for readers.
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