Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Some people believe children should be taught by
parents
how to be valuable members of society. Others,
however
, admit that the best place to learn is
school
. In
this
essay, I will give my point of view about both statements. On one hand,
parents
have the most important role in their child’s development, including how they behave or other skills like communication in order to be a good individual. Before turning 5 or we might say ‘Golden Time’, it’s a time to learn personality and manners for children,
kids
tend to mirror their
parents
.
For example
, the way they talk, or communicate might represent their parent’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Also
, most
kids
remember what their
parents
said when they were young.
On the other hand
,
school
is a good place to learn. Usually,
kids
only learn about academics there, except they take personality classes. Nowadays, there are a lot of bullying cases that arise in
school
, which denies the argument
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
`
school
is the best place to learn`. Most of the offenders are someone who has good grades in classes. To control
this
situation, every institution should have experts to handle these cases and examine how students should behave with each other. In summary, I believe we should take a look at both sides. It is true that children can learn
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
from
school
such
as academics, but
parents
should look at their
kids
, including personality and manners.
In addition
, schools should take a test to eliminate
kids
who had unacceptable
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
before they got into classes.
Submitted by ambercampbell.xx25 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are clearly supported with relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
Avoid making generalizations without providing specific evidence.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity and coherence of the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Provide a more detailed and developed analysis of both perspectives.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and utilize more precise and academic language.
grammatical range accuracy
Revise the grammar to improve accuracy and variety.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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