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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour
One
 of the most recent trends in today’s world is the upsurge in watching a growing amount of violence in media, and it is having negative impacts on youngsters’ routines. There is a wild split of belief that
this
 is a popular subject of debate. In my perspective,
this
 has more negative than positive impacts and I will demonstrate it with the reasons in
this
 essay. On the
one
 hand, critics may point out some drawbacks. They might say that even children need to be updated about the ongoing situation in a country.
For example
, who are studying
such
 as logic, sociology and political science, it is vital to learn about violence, and crime to enhance their education. Most of the time they are learning by doing research
therefore
 it helps them to know those things.
On the other hand
, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of arguments in favour of my stance. Mainly, the children are usually interested in doing experiments.
For example
, Seeing those
programs
 on television might inspire trying those things and
due to
 hectic lifestyles, parents are
also
 not aware of them.
That is
 the most preponderant
one
, and it has several consequences in various ways.
Secondly
, childhood is the stage of beginning to explore things in their life. As an example, if they see good
programs
such
 as mind-relaxing, educational or religious their behavior will be good as well. Never will they be aggressive. In my opinion, the whole world is focusing on educating teenagers to watch meaningful
programs
 to make their future successful. In my opinion, the whole world is focusing on educating teenagers to watch meaningful
programs
 to have good behaviour. Given the arguments outlined above,
one
 might conclude that, despite having certain negatives, the positives of watching meaningful
programs
 on television are indeed too dire to ignore.
Submitted by Grrace on

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Argument Balance
Ensure there's a balance in presenting both sides of the argument. You've provided a clear stance, but it's beneficial to explore opposing views more thoroughly to strengthen your position.
Use of Connectives
Incorate varied transitional phrases and connective words to enhance flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can improve reader comprehension and make the essay more cohesive.
Inclusion of Examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world instances or studies can greatly enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and establish your position effectively, aiding in the overall flow of the essay.
Supported Main Points
You've made a concerted effort to develop your main points and provide rationale for your view, which is commendable.
Logical Structure
Your essay demonstrates a sound understanding of the topic and reflects good organization.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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