IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

If the products is good and meets consumer needs than advertising is unnecessary.

#products #consumer
These days with the development of technology. The advertising industry is growing
really fast
Rephrase
faster
show examples
 than ever. Some people argue that it is unnecessary,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 I believe that it brings more advantages to companies. I will prove
this
 point
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
this
 essay.
Firstly
,
Advertise
Wrong verb form
advertising
show examples
 brings
products
 to more customers easily around the
words
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
, without
out
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it only local clients can access the
products
. These days lot of companies choose to spread their product through social media,
such
 as TikTok and
this
 action has
bring
Change the verb form
brought
show examples
thỉ
Correct your spelling
these
products
 to
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of customers.
Secondly
,
Advertisement
Replace the word
Advertising
show examples
 is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 good way to
buid
Correct your spelling
buy
 clients using habit, once people get used to using the
products
, it bring
ton
Add an article
a ton
show examples
 of benefit without
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 we have
bee
Correct your spelling
been
show examples
 seeing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
products
 over and over again on TV daily,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 tend to use
that
Change the determiner
that product
those products
show examples
products
 subconsciously.
Thirdly
,
arcoding
Correct your spelling
according
 to
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
 opinion, when customers are willing to pay for the productions regularly. It increases sales quantity,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
also
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 companies profit. To
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
 up. I believe that even
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
products
 meet customer
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
,
advertisement
Add an article
the advertisement
an advertisement
show examples
 could bring huge profit, speared
products
 to more clients.
Submitted by nguyenthitinh1995lc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: