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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #scores #teams #b #c #four #seasons #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
points
Use synonyms
 earned by three
teams
Use synonyms
 in four seasons between 2002 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, all the
teams
Use synonyms
 experienced fluctuation in terms of
points
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
Team
Use synonyms
 B indicated significant dominance over the
period
Use synonyms
. At the start of the given
period
Use synonyms
,
team
Use synonyms
 B had
Add an article
a dramatical
show examples
dramatical
Correct your spelling
dramatic
show examples
 difference in
points
Use synonyms
 compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Team
Use synonyms
 A and
Team
Use synonyms
 C, surpassing them with approximately 80
points
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, respectively. In the following years,
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 difference was smaller.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the next two years,
team
Use synonyms
 B’s scored
points
Use synonyms
 decreased by
doubble
Correct your spelling
doubling
 the
amount
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, slightly increasing again
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 up to 55. In terms of other
teams
Use synonyms
, their results were noticeably lower.
Team
Use synonyms
 C had double the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
points
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
team
Capitalize word
Team
show examples
 A had at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 (5 and 10),
although
Linking Words
 in 2005, the situation was the opposite (8 and 5). Both
teams
Use synonyms
 got higher scores towards the middle of the
period
Use synonyms
,
team
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 C reaching a peak in 2003 before falling into decline.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
team
Use synonyms
 A reached a peak a year later, getting almost
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
amount
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Use synonyms
points
Change preposition
of points
show examples
 as the leader of all
teams
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,
team
Use synonyms
 B, with 35
points
Use synonyms
, respectively. After that, numbers fell into decline.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, points, teams, team, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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