IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think charity organizations should help people in great need wherever they live. However, others think they should help people in their own country. Discuss both opinions and give your own idea.

#people #charity #organizations #country #idea
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Latest
Add an article
The latest
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 debate is
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 group of
people
do
Verb problem
apply
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charity
organizations
 should
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
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with
Change preposition
for
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?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 Some groups support the
idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
charity
organizations
 should only help
individuals
 in their
country
. Alongside
this
, other groups of
people
 tend to believe that
charity
organizations
 need to consider helping
people
 wherever they live without any discrimination. In
this
 essay, both opinions are going to be discussed.
Firstly
, the
idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
charity
organizations
 should help only
individuals
 from their own
country
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 way
for completing
Change preposition
to complete
show examples
 the organization`s ambition.
This
blief
Correct your spelling
belief
brief
 may be correct if
people
 who live in their
country
 are more helpless than any
another nations
Fix the agreement mistake
other nation
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. Because who would like to help another group of
people
 when your
people
 demand more help?
This
 reason is understandable.
However
, out of
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 I don`t think there is a meaningful one to lean on for
this
 opinion.
Secondly
, another group of
people
 support the
idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
charity
organizations
 should help
individuals
 where they live
only
Rephrase
apply
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. It`s not a
suprise
Correct your spelling
surprise
 that
this
 opinion has more supporters because it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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more ethical. When you look at the purpose of establishing a
charity
 organization,
this
idea
 is on point. Because helping
people
 doesn`t include discrimination. In my point of view, supporting
people
 who need money, food,
accommodation
Correct word choice
and accommodation
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 without
giving
Verb problem
paying
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 attention to their religion
or
Correct word choice
apply
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race or status is the nature of being a real
charity
 organization.
This
 means that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity
organizations
 around the world should consider helping
people
 in their region even though the
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not from their
country
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
, if
individuals
 from their
counrty
Correct your spelling
country
 need more help than
people
 where they live currently, they don`t need to feel pressure to help
people
 in their own
country
.
Submitted by fyzalkac on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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