Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.

#people #children #choices #matters #society #individuals

It is often argued that

children

have to be accustomed to

opt

Wrong verb form

opting for

show examples

their personal matters and being decisive, others contend that adopting

this

approach will bring about

a selfish generations

Correct the article-noun agreement

a selfish generation

selfish generations

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

This

essay will discuss both perspectives and the argument is in favour of the former view.

To begin

with, the concept of allowing

children

to act with their entire willingness without targeting them is a devastating

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

approach.

In other words

while

children

are not mature enough to distinguish what is convenient for them, it is essential to boost them mentally and accompany them at

this

early

stag

Correct your spelling

stage

show examples

For example

while

some

children

always to acquire whatever they like, they adopt deviant behaviour as

amean

Correct your spelling

a mean

a means

to putting stress

over

Change preposition

show examples

parents

obay

Correct your spelling

obey

their

request

Fix the agreement mistake

requests

show examples

This

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

, in turn, gives rise to a

distortion

Replace the word

distorted

show examples

individual.

From

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand, it is acknowledged that

parents

have to reinforce their offspring, offering them to express their

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

show examples

exchanging

Wrong verb form

exchange

show examples

thoughts,

opting

Wrong verb form

opt for

show examples

their primary needs and

helpng

Correct your spelling

helping

them to make decisions. Albeit, all that should be with

Change the article

show examples

constructive approach, which

impacting

Change the form of the verb

impact

show examples

on their character positively. It has

beed

Correct your spelling

been

proven that restricting

children

and posing them to

sawy

Correct your spelling

sway

say

overly

leading

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

to personality disorders

such

as lack of confidence and frequent reluctance.

Conversely

children

who make their own

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

and express respectively about matters,

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

strengthen their traits.

Thus

parents

have to former constructive

appoach

Correct your spelling

approaches

for better mental health.

To conclude

while

there is a dominant notion of allowing

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

to perform excessively and without targeting them, I believe that

parents

have to interact positively with them and undertake flexible approaches.

Submitted by alaan0542 on Thu Oct 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every 5 what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?
A few citizens are in the view that, their should be an enforcement for people to repeat their driving exam after every five years. There are pros and cons of the statement and in this essay I am going to elaborate more of the same. One of the main negative side is that people can miss golden chances that they could have acquired had they not moved away from their usual place of work. However, at the same time these obligation can reduce accidents that occur on the roads by a huge percentage.
4.5
band
These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, there is an increasing number of young adults who decide to move away from the place they have grown up. As my personal knowledge, the younger generation have
6.5
band
An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?
The number of small corner shops nowadays has decreased due to the emergence of massive shopping centres such as malls and department stores. In this essay, both positive and negative effects will be outlined before reaching a conclusion.
7.5
band
The advantages brought by the spread of English as “a global language” will outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Nowadays, it is a cliche that a language has certainly been determined to be a stunning weapon in society, taking into account communication skills. The number of proponents deeply contemplate that it definitely stimulates positive human conversations. My take on this is that I personally see eye to eye with the statement that English can undoubtedly boost people's horizons.
<4
band
Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals argue that millions of budget, researching the spare each yours dre spent on researching spent used for people's living standard which year, should be The writer of this essay agrees with that notion as those spending can reduce the rate of poverty and increase the quality of life.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every 5 what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

The advantages brought by the spread of English as “a global language” will outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?