Some people think that young people should spend more of their free time at home with their families and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #home #families

In recent decades, a rising number of young

people

consume

Verb problem

spend

show examples

more leisure

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hanging out than staying with their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

. Some

people

suggest that they are supposed to do the opposite,

while

others argue that

this

is reasonable and advisable that youngsters should spend more

time

outside. Supporters of the first view normally focus on the following two aspects. For one, quality

time

with family members is imperative

Change preposition

for

show examples

one’s

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

, especially for children and the elderly.

Accordingly

, the youths ought to create more interaction with family members when they can share anecdotes and

stressing

Wrong verb form

stress

show examples

issues at school or

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

TV shows together, or

cooking

Wrong verb form

cook

show examples

together.

As a result

, it is helpful to alleviate young

people

’s stress and strengthen family ties,

build

Wrong verb form

building

show examples

loving

Correct article usage

a loving

show examples

atmosphere. For another, the salary level of

people

this

age group is comparatively low. Generally, recreational activities outside are expensive,

such

as shopping, drinking in hubs, or gambling, which may result in

heavy

Correct article usage

a heavy

show examples

financial burden for them.

Nevertheless

, there are certain drawbacks for

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation to consume most of

free

Correct pronoun usage

their free

show examples

time

at home. As the space and event are limited

indoor

Correct your spelling

indoors

show examples

, they are more probably to experience

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle, which is detrimental to their health, giving rise to chronic heart disease or obesity.

Conversely

, entertaining outside is beneficial for youngsters to expand their interpersonal network through social activities and regular clubs. By doing so, they can learn something practical

that is

conducive to the career development. From my perspective, young

people

are

suggested

Verb problem

advised

show examples

to balance their free

time

between connecting with family members and enjoying their own

time

Besides

, it is a wonderful choice for them to engage in outdoor amusement with their parents, which helps to obtain the benefits from both views.

For example

, they can attend a community party together.

Submitted by liumuxi568 on Fri Oct 13 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

bond
nurture
meaningful
connection
independence
decision-making skills
well-rounded
personal preferences

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Some people think that young people should spend more of their free time at home with their families and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in word, picture, music or films) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, there are more young people enrolled in work based training instead of attending university. Do the advantage of the situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Restoration of old buildings in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.