Some people think that young people should spend more of their free time at home with their families and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent decades, a rising number of young
people
consume
Verb problem
spend
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more leisure
time
on
Change preposition
apply
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hanging out than staying with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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. Some
people
suggest that they are supposed to do the opposite,
while
others argue that
this
is reasonable and advisable that youngsters should spend more
time
outside. Supporters of the first view normally focus on the following two aspects. For one, quality
time
with family members is imperative
in
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for
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one’s
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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, especially for children and the elderly.
Accordingly
, the youths ought to create more interaction with family members when they can share anecdotes and
stressing
Wrong verb form
stress
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issues at school or
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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,
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
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TV shows together, or
cooking
Wrong verb form
cook
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together.
As a result
, it is helpful to alleviate young
people
’s stress and strengthen family ties,
build
Wrong verb form
building
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loving
Correct article usage
a loving
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atmosphere. For another, the salary level of
people
in
this
age group is comparatively low. Generally, recreational activities outside are expensive,
such
as shopping, drinking in hubs, or gambling, which may result in
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
financial burden for them.
Nevertheless
, there are certain drawbacks for
young
Add an article
the young
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generation to consume most of
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
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time
at home. As the space and event are limited
indoor
Correct your spelling
indoors
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, they are more probably to experience
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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lifestyle, which is detrimental to their health, giving rise to chronic heart disease or obesity.
Conversely
, entertaining outside is beneficial for youngsters to expand their interpersonal network through social activities and regular clubs. By doing so, they can learn something practical
that is
conducive to the career development. From my perspective, young
people
are
suggested
Verb problem
advised
show examples
to balance their free
time
between connecting with family members and enjoying their own
time
.
Besides
, it is a wonderful choice for them to engage in outdoor amusement with their parents, which helps to obtain the benefits from both views.
For example
, they can attend a community party together.
Submitted by liumuxi568 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • nurture
  • meaningful
  • connection
  • independence
  • decision-making skills
  • well-rounded
  • personal preferences
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