The large amount of time and money that is spent on conserving wildlife would be better spent on improving the lives of humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In
this
modern era, Local businesses should be prioritized to increase the value of local
products
in the country.
This
approach must be followed by restricting
companies
from other countries to advance their
products
there. I personally agree that giving more space for local
companies
would generate more opportunities to attract consumers
due to
more exposure to local
products
. In
this
essay, I will elaborate more on below. On the one hand, some businesses lose their income from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local consumers
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competitors
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
usually foreign
companies
. They attempt to provide more attractive
products
that are affordable price as a strategy;
therefore
, the local
products
lose the market which impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their revenue. If
such
competitors are openly given an opportunity in the country, the local brand would be neglected by the local people.
This
also
has significant drawbacks for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entrepreneurs
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
want to start or expand their businesses in the country.
On the other hand
, opening a space for foreign
companies
could encourage innovations in
products
. It is because the
companies
would come up with a new idea;
thus
, it would be a spirit for local
companies
to make more competitive
products
. Not only about the innovations but the collaboration could be created among the
companies
to generate a fresh product to be marketed wider. In
this
case, people can be exposed to varied
products
. In conclusion, a strategy to restrict foreign
companies
would be a solution to encouraging local
products
.
However
, it seems to me that the collaborative aspect should be considered to increase the value of the
products
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Add an overview of your opinions in the introduction.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the prompt in your response.
task achievement
Provide more developed arguments with supporting evidence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and provides a clear concluding statement.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • sustainable development
  • ecotourism
  • climate change
  • endangered species
  • ethical responsibility
  • interconnected
  • expenditure
  • psychological benefits
  • health benefits
  • natural environments
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