The large amount of time and money that is spent on conserving wildlife would be better spent on improving the lives of humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In
this
modern era, Local businesses should be prioritized to increase the value of local products
in the country. This
approach must be followed by restricting companies
from other countries to advance their products
there. I personally agree that giving more space for local companies
would generate more opportunities to attract consumers due to
more exposure to local products
. In this
essay, I will elaborate more on below.
On the one hand, some businesses lose their income from the
local consumers Correct article usage
apply
due to
the
competitors Correct article usage
apply
that
is
usually foreign Change the verb form
are
companies
. They attempt to provide more attractive products
that are affordable price as a strategy; therefore
, the local products
lose the market which impacts on
their revenue. If Change preposition
apply
such
competitors are openly given an opportunity in the country, the local brand would be neglected by the local people. This
also
has significant drawbacks for the
entrepreneurs Correct article usage
apply
that
want to start or expand their businesses in the country.
Correct pronoun usage
who
On the other hand
, opening a space for foreign companies
could encourage innovations in products
. It is because the companies
would come up with a new idea; thus
, it would be a spirit for local companies
to make more competitive products
. Not only about the innovations but the collaboration could be created among the companies
to generate a fresh product to be marketed wider. In this
case, people can be exposed to varied products
.
In conclusion, a strategy to restrict foreign companies
would be a solution to encouraging local products
. However
, it seems to me that the collaborative aspect should be considered to increase the value of the products
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Add an overview of your opinions in the introduction.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the prompt in your response.
task achievement
Provide more developed arguments with supporting evidence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and provides a clear concluding statement.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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