Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #behavior #field #influence

People have different views about whether professional

athletes

should be seen as good role models for

children

or whether their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

are not always suitable for

kids

or teenagers to follow. In my opinion,

although

some successful athlete

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

are not suitable for

children

, I believe that professional

athletes

can be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

inspiration

Fix the agreement mistake

inspirations

show examples

and role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

for

children

. Famous

athletes

can inspire

children

in a good way. First and foremost, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

successful

athletes

have the determination to achieve their goals and diligent efforts. They always practice and exercise every day in order to improve and cultivate their skill as they need to win in the tournament.

Secondly

, professional

athletes

are usually healthy because they eat healthy food and exercise. These can be excellent examples for the

kids

to follow their routines for achieving their goals and staying healthy.

On the other hand

, some individuals defend that some

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

of professional

athletes

have drawbacks.

Practicing

Change the spelling

Practising

show examples

all day and night will cause some injuries and create a negative impact on their health.

In addition

, some of the personal things of famous and successful

athletes

are not good to follow.

For example

, they might act aggressively during their competition and cannot control themselves when they are angry. These kinds of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

are not only negative examples for young people but

also

for society as a whole. In conclusion, there are some reasons that professional

athletes

should not be seen as good role models for

kids

However

, I believe that some of their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

such

as diligent efforts and their health, could be a good inspiration for

kids

Submitted by nattaporn.vibha on Fri Oct 13 2023

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lexical resource

Avoid using informal language such as 'kids' or 'teenagers'. Use more formal terms like 'children' and 'youth'.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion adequately summarize the main points and provide a clear stance on the issue.

grammatical range accuracy

Check the grammatical structure of your sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
determination
discipline
work ethic
community service
charitable activities
poor behavior
unsportsmanlike conduct
media scrutiny
public perception
materialism
physical and mental health issues
impressionable youth
high levels
pursuing sports
positive influence
negative influence

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Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and megazines has significant impact on local culture. What do you think has been the impact? Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree?