many people choose to move from rural areas to in search of better opportunities does this has more advantages or disadvantages for a country
It is
well recognized
that urban cities, per se, are attractive Add a hyphen
well-recognized
for
many Change preposition
to
people
. Therefore
, today, more and more people
tend to decide to move from rural areas
to more urban cities to look for a better chance. Some people
discuss whether this
tendency is positive or negative for a country
. Admitting that there are pros and cons to this
inclination, depending on the value systems, the answer varies. All in all, I recognize this
as more
advantages, Add a missing verb
having more
whereas
understanding its Change preposition
while
disadvantage
.
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
To begin
with, our economy generates more benefits in activated areas
like urban cities. This
is because once many talented people
attracted
Add a missing verb
are attracted
come
to urban Verb problem
apply
areas
, their production must be sophisticated apparently
, which itself makes those Rephrase
apply
areas
’ quality higher, and, as a result
, more and more people
come to urban areas
. This
means the more urban city's
Change noun form
city
people
are, the more this
prominent circulation proceeds, which must be advantageous.
However
, denser populated urban areas
have risk
Add an article
a risk
the risk
for
Change preposition
of
its
collapse. If there is a disaster, many talented Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
in that area may lose their lives. In that case
, its country
must get
Verb problem
apply
lost
its productivity significantly, and its revival takes quite a long time. Wrong verb form
lose
Therefore
, a country
has to prepare for it not to let its country
’s people
in danger in case
of catastrophe.
To sum up
, what
more and more Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
come
to urban Wrong verb form
coming
areas
means its
high productivity through collecting talented Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
but it also
has the disadvantage to make
them die in Change preposition
of making
case
of disaster. However
, once a government prepared
for its tragedy, the damage must be minimized, and its total economic outlook in that Wrong verb form
prepares
country
must be better, compared to the case
that talented people
are scattered. Ergo, I regard this
tendency as more beneficial.Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer stance on whether the advantages or disadvantages outweigh each other.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance your writing.
lexical resource
Review your use of vocabulary and aim to use more precise and appropriate terms.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...