many people choose to move from rural areas to in search of better opportunities does this has more advantages or disadvantages for a country

It is
well recognized
Add a hyphen
well-recognized
show examples
that urban cities, per se, are attractive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
many
people
.
Therefore
, today, more and more
people
tend to decide to move from rural
areas
to more urban cities to look for a better chance. Some
people
discuss whether
this
tendency is positive or negative for a
country
. Admitting that there are pros and cons to
this
inclination, depending on the value systems, the answer varies. All in all, I recognize
this
as
more
Add a missing verb
having more
show examples
advantages,
whereas
Change preposition
while
show examples
understanding its
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
To begin
with, our economy generates more benefits in activated
areas
like urban cities.
This
is because once many talented
people
attracted
Add a missing verb
are attracted
show examples
come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to urban
areas
, their production must be sophisticated
apparently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, which itself makes those
areas
’ quality higher, and,
as a result
, more and more
people
come to urban
areas
.
This
means the more urban
city's
Change noun form
city
show examples
people
are, the more
this
prominent circulation proceeds, which must be advantageous.
However
, denser populated urban
areas
have
risk
Add an article
a risk
the risk
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
collapse. If there is a disaster, many talented
people
in that area may lose their lives. In that
case
, its
country
must
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
its productivity significantly, and its revival takes quite a long time.
Therefore
, a
country
has to prepare for it not to let its
country
’s
people
in danger in
case
of catastrophe.
To sum up
,
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more and more
people
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
to urban
areas
means
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high productivity through collecting talented
people
but it
also
has the disadvantage
to make
Change preposition
of making
show examples
them die in
case
of disaster.
However
, once a government
prepared
Wrong verb form
prepares
show examples
for its tragedy, the damage must be minimized, and its total economic outlook in that
country
must be better, compared to the
case
that talented
people
are scattered. Ergo, I regard
this
tendency as more beneficial.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer stance on whether the advantages or disadvantages outweigh each other.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance your writing.
lexical resource
Review your use of vocabulary and aim to use more precise and appropriate terms.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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