Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions could you suggest?

#health #warnings #people #smoke #world

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of masses around the globe keep on smoking regardless of the continuous health

advisory

Fix the agreement mistake

advisories

show examples

being given to

smokers

This

essay shall delve deeper to discuss the reasons to be concerned about

this

plight and draw some remedies to curb

this

issue.

To begin

people

are bothered by

this

unprecedented habit of

smokers

Replace the word

smoking

show examples

because it is leading society to a dark phase. To elaborate

further

people

smoke

Wrong verb form

smoking

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

public

places

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

affects

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

others in two ways;

first,

it impacts the health of passive

smokers

. A report from WHO,

for example

, has revealed that being in the same room or closed environment with

smokers

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

the risk of lung cancer in

non-

Correct your spelling

non-smokers

show examples

smokers

by 50% and in

open

Add an article

an open

show examples

environment it increases the risk by 20%.

Hence

, passive smoking can be deadly for all of us.

Second,

it allures others to indulge in the same habit of smoking. As, most of the youngsters start smoking just to look cool by seeing others

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

do so. Moving towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

solutions, there are many steps

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been taken by states

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the world to mitigate

this

problem

however

results have not been very progressive.

Albeit

Correct word choice

This

show examples

this

essay shares the same point of view as

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the prime minister of the UK, Rishi Sunak,

that is

to increase

prices

Correct article usage

the prices

show examples

of cigarettes by 1 pound each year and slowly and gradually most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

would not be able to afford it.

Moreover

, governments have played a hypocrite in

this

matter at

front

Add an article

the front

show examples

they seem to be condemning

this

habit, but they have made smoke

room

Fix the agreement mistake

rooms

show examples

in all the public

places

such

as airports, metro stations and many more. So,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should take a firm stance and prohibit smoking completely

Change preposition

show examples

public

places

To conclude

, smoking is hazardous not only for

smokers

but

also

for

people

around them and for the coming generations

hence

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

must take some strict actions to ban smoking

Change preposition

show examples

public

places

and raise the prices to make it something out of the league for most

people

Submitted by sushainpahwa007 on Fri Oct 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs to structure your essay.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

335 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Addiction
Cardiovascular disease
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
Nicotine
Public health initiative
Secondhand smoke
Substance abuse
Tobacco cessation
Environmental degradation
Social norms
Healthcare burden
Preventive measures

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Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions could you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

MODERN CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE THAT WERE ONCE CONSIDERED BEING MEANT FOR ADULTS ONLY. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN BE OFFERED

Some people say the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause ? what can be done to deal with this situation ?

People living in big cities face many problems today. What are the problems ? Should the government encourage people to live in regional towns?