Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Several
people
state that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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music
can play an important
role
in society
as well as
in their lives. But, there are numerous citizen who argues
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
, and for them,
music
is nothing except a form of entertainment.
This
holds an explanation for both points of view with support of some relevant examples. To commence with,
music
can play an essential
role
in our lives and ultimately in our environment. For many,
music
is a form of art which
also
acts as a stress reliever for some. A number of students prefer to study in
a surroundings
Correct the article-noun agreement
surroundings
a surrounding
show examples
with some soothing
music
.
This
provides them, with their optimum environment and they are more concentrated on their studies. Studies have been made,
as a result
it was seen that
people
who are stressed
,
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apply
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if
Correct word choice
apply
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listen to some motivating songs or
music
this
helps them to gain their confidence back and be more productive.
Additionally
,
people
also
prefer
music
for expressing
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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different kinds of emotions.
For instance
: if a human is sad, he or she will mostly prefer to listen to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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sad
music
.
Music
plays a chief
role
during festivals or for some special occasions as well.
In contrast
to
this
, many women and men see
music
as a form of entertainment only.
This
can be because of several reasons
such
as many
people
may find
music
as a distracting habit. To support
this
statement scientists working in laboratories prefer to avoid listening to
music
or songs
while
performing some experiments
,
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apply
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since
this
can distract them and changes in results may occur.
To conclude
, for many individuals
music
can play a pivotal
role
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
while
for some, it is just an entertaining source and a habit that can distract them
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural tool
  • shared identity
  • cognitive development
  • creativity
  • mental health
  • music therapy
  • chronic pain
  • entertainment value
  • personal escape
  • cultural background
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