Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Childcare appears to be a pivotal task to communities and

parents

therefore

should attend courses to be prepared for it. Personally, I completely disagree with forcing them to take lessons on how to be a good parent. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to make partners

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

be taught about the ways of child care

due to

having competent child-raising in their society.

Firstly

, it is ridiculous to consider one method or way of being a proper mother or father because everyone and especially each family has its own personality and background so it would be useless to make up a single prescription for it.

Secondly

, raising a baby already contributes to time consumption until one of the

parents

even

Rephrase

apply

show examples

cannot pursue his or her career, not alone attend a compulsory class on how to get better. In my opinion, there are other tackles that could be taken to boost

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

level of knowledge about some psychologistic regulations through which they can raise a healthy child rather than taking some boring classes. Governments

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

instance, can support mothers or fathers with paid leaves for a period so that they can easily spend their time educating their children.

Furthermore

parents

can be provided with online education and free written books to follow structures or would be consulted by professionals to prevent inappropriate methods if they are willing to. In conclusion, it would not be useful for

parents

to be forced to take place on courses with some general parenting pieces of advice

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

there are other ways of raising healthy people.

Submitted by z.rajabi on Sat Oct 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay provides adequate structure and organization, but there are some issues with coherence and task achievement. The response is generally relevant but lacks clarity and specific examples. More precise and focused examples will improve task achievement and clear comprehensive ideas.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues, such as unclear transitions and connections between ideas. Use cohesive devices more effectively and ensure that each paragraph connects logically with the next.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and lexical resource usage. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice and repetitive language. Use a wider variety of vocabulary and avoid repetitive expressions to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

The grammatical range and accuracy are generally strong, but there are some errors in sentence structure and word form. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure to ensure greater grammatical accuracy and variety.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Despite the popularity of universities, it is of the opinion that vocational training should be encouraged to help alleviate the shortage of skilled workers in the workforce. Personally, I hold a different perspective on this notion.
5.5
band
Many newspapers, magazines and television programmes make money by reporting on the private lives of public figures such as politicians, sports personalities and entertainers. While the media's right to freedom of expression should be defended, the media should not intrude into people's private affairs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It has been increasingly common for the media to make public the private lives of the elite and celebrities against their will. Some may argue that such practice is warranted owing to the media’s freedom of speech, while others disagree strongly with it because it is a violation of personal privacy.
6.5
band
With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
With the rapid advancement of technology, numerous robotic assistants are now capable of performing tasks traditionally done by humans. Despite the potential benefits of reducing the workforce, the drawbacks, such as a rising unemployment rate and substantial costs, significantly outweigh the positives.
4
band
Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Due to the advancement of technology nowadays, works now can be done at home instead of offices and many people think that this phenomenom should be encouraged because of its benefits. Personally, i firmly agree with this point of view for its convenient and effective.
4.5
band
Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Before the advancement of technology people used to utilize bicycles to travel from one place to other. These days many people using other transport methods as compared to bicycle and the population can be encouraged to use bicycle to commute at their work places and perform other tasks. This essay will outline two causes and how people can be motivated to use bicycles and at last I will provide my experience.

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.