In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause?What can be done to deal with this?

In
this
day and age, it is likely that there is an emergence of juvenile delinquencies in several nations. The fundamental cause of
this
problem is the lack of
comprehensively
Change the word
comprehensive
show examples
criminal education at school, yet can be resolved by adequate punishments by authorities. It should be understood that youngsters would not commit crimes if they were
overally
Correct your spelling
overly
overall
educated about
this
field
while
studying at schools.
In other words
, educational stations, schools and institutions
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
instance, are conventionally ignoring crime-related areas to lecture these students, which
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
an imperative role in teenager’s mindset development.
This
can
be resulted
Change to the active voice
result
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of awareness and ignorance that
consequently
leads to
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
committing
Wrong verb form
committed
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. India is a relevant example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
circumstance, where children are unable to go to school because of poverty or inadequate conditions.
As a consequence
, there is a severe problem with
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
offenders rate, which now is known as the most serious social issue for
this
nation. Practical actions,
nevertheless
, can be taken by authorities to at least alleviate
this
issue. The most reliable approach is to punish the young offenders directly. By putting an adequate punishment, teenagers will get a full understanding of their faults which can be seen as a lecture to adjust themselves and rehabilitate to the society later on.
In addition
, other children, especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
are likely to commit an
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
in the future may be profoundly frightened of these retributions.
As a result
, the proportion of youth crime will probably drop significantly which can contribute to the general advancement all over the world.
In more
Change preposition
More
show examples
specific
Change the word
specifically
show examples
, Vietnam is a country which
prioritize
Change the verb form
prioritizes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
juvenile delinquency as the most severe issue recently,
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been punishing young offenders adequately.
Therefore
, the young criminal rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
particular nation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
seen a remarkable decrease throughout the period of 20 years
up-to-now
Correct your spelling
up to now
show examples
.
Thus
, it is evident that youth crimes are conventionally derived from the lack of crime-related education in school years.
Additionally
, reasonable retributions which are implemented by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can be taken into consideration to address
this
problem.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Revise introduction to provide a clearer and more concise overview of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion paragraph summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Revise sentence structures for better coherence and clarity.
lexical resource
Improve the use of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: