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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words
#minutes #reason #tourists #city #two #years #information #features #comparisons
The pie charts compare the
reasons
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
tourists
 chose to visit Orange
city
Capitalize word
City
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 between the years 2006 and 2016.
Overall
, in 2016, the number of
tourists
 visiting the
city
 increased by 0.9 million, when compared to 2006. On the one hand, in 2006, almost half the
tourists
(45%) visited the
city
due to
 the annual
events
 that were conducted there. In second place, museums attracted 27% of
tourists
.
Theater
Change the spelling
Theatre
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 came in third place, which was closely followed by restaurants, contributing 13% and 10% respectively.
Lastly
, 5% of the
tourists
 visited the
city
due to
 other
reasons
.
On the other hand
, in 2016, restaurants attracted a major crowd, followed closely by annual
events
. Museums came in third place by attracting 11% of the visitors. It is a striking feature that, only one-fourth of the crowd for annual
events
 came to visit
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
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 and came for other
reasons
 respectively. In conclusion, from 2006 to 2016, restaurants and other
reasons
 attracted more people.
On the contrary
, fewer
tourists
 came for annual
events
,
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 and museums.
Submitted by vani13padmakumar on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, tourists, city, events with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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