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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More women nowadays work outside and spend a little time with family and kids. Their positions in the society have changed and because of that young people face many problems including juvenile delinquency and frustration

#women #work #time #kids #positions #society #people #face #delinquency #frustration
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In
this
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 contemporary era of equality and breaking conservative gender roles, the upbringing of offspring is the obligation of both parents. Children are being overlooked by guardians in the rat race to earn money,
thus
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, they often become victims of heinous activities and mental disorders.
Although
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 looking after kids is the primary onus of a mother, a father is equally responsible for
this
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 predicament. Inflation and technology play a vital role in transforming a child's behaviour. The unaffordability of houses, groceries, and education forces both parents to jump out of the premises to earn,
hence
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, less
time
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 to spend with aspirants.
Consequently
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, kids are spending excessive
time
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 on the Internet exploring violent content and imitating it.
As a result
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, they are becoming a culprit of psychological diseases.
Moreover
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, the education system
also
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 plays a substantial role in promoting
such
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 unacceptable behaviours. Nowadays, the main motive of these organisations is to make profits and encourage juveniles to adopt Western culture. Because of
this
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, pupils are not adopting their cultural and traditional values. The curriculum of high-end schools in Canada fosters kids to explore sexual education at a young age, and are being spoiled precipitously. Even though these exterior factors
such
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 as inflation, technology, and schooling are promoting
such
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 devastating activities, guardians need to be hyper-vigilant regarding their children's activities. It is not the fundamental duty of a mother to look after their borns, a father should foster himself to spend enough
time
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 with his offspring in order to teach them moral values.
Although
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 advent and enhancement in technology and teaching have abundant devastating impacts on new generations, all family members need to be full-
time
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 workers in order to afford basic amenities, they should spend some quality
time
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 with their children to teach them life lessons. By doing so, it will not only divert the minds of learners but
also
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 inculcate good habits in them.
Submitted by sdeepkaur9 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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