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Writing Samples
Band 5

Addiction to the Internet is a widespread problem. What problems does this causes? What is a suitable solution

#addiction #internet
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In the modern era, the issue
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people who are addicted to the Internet is
spearded
Correct your spelling
speared
 around the world.
This
Linking Words
 problem
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
habits
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physical and mental health. But, there is a way to handle
this
Linking Words
 problem
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to force themselves to act more
discipline
Replace the word
disciplined
show examples
 by making a
time
Use synonyms
 schedule. It is
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
that everyone
are tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to do their
habits
Use synonyms
 when they are free, especially the bad ones. To explain it
further
Linking Words
,
teenager
Add an article
the teenager
a teenager
show examples
 is the age
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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 the most
time
Use synonyms
 to participate in the
varieties
Fix the agreement mistake
variety
show examples
 of activities
Change preposition
in
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which surfing the Net is the most
prelavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
prevalent
.
As a result
Linking Words
, young will
recurred
Change the verb form
recur
show examples
 their habit and can not recognise the bad aspects which bring to teens. Thereby, teens are controlled
bt
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
time-consumingactivity
Correct your spelling
time-consuming activity
. In many public
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
, it is easy to catch out
citizens
Correct word choice
that citizens
show examples
 are using phones anywhere and anytime they can. Another result
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 body and mind. To be more specific, using too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 technology devices will cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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weakness
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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 and some problems
to
Change preposition
with
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 their bones, especially the back. it
also
Linking Words
effected
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 to
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 mind, the green rays
lighted
Wrong verb form
light
show examples
 from the phone to human eyes, make the eyes have to operate more to adjust with the light bits. There is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research that more than 45%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 who are wearing glasses
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 vision will be decreased and harm to their seeing ability.
However
Linking Words
, a solution can be found in the way that people have to realise the harmfulness of the overuse
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the Net. To make
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 more
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
, having
an
Change the word
our
show examples
 own
time
Use synonyms
 schedule is vital as these techniques can control our actions, thereby
to create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
good habits
a good habit
show examples
habits
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the list of activities that each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to acquire will make them more
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
 and
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
. Students in the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 have their own timetable on what they need to do and what they want to do. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, the Internet causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 bad
habits
Use synonyms
 and
influenced
Wrong verb form
influences
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, building a
time
Use synonyms
 schedule is an effective way to reduce
Linking Words
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
.
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task achievement
Make sure to address the problems caused by Internet addiction in more detail. Provide specific examples and explain the consequences in depth.
task achievement
Expand on each main point and provide more supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Reorganize your essay to have a clearer structure. Start with an introduction that introduces the topic and presents the main points. Then, in the body paragraphs, focus on one problem at a time and provide specific examples and explanations. Finally, conclude your essay by summarizing the problems and providing a suitable solution.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your lexical resource. Avoid repeating the same words and phrases.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence construction. There are several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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