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Band 5.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think is the cause of this? What a possible solution can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #prison
The high
rate
 of
criminals
 committing more
crimes
 after being released from jail is reportedly increasing. The underlying cause for
this
 is that the
punishment
 given to the
offenders
 is not strong enough yet it can be tackled by implementing a psychological approach for the
criminals
. The principal cause of the criminal's re-offend is the weight of the
punishment
. It must be recognized that after a long time of rehabilitation in prison, a lot of
criminals
 will regret their
crimes
 and hope to have a chance to commence their lives again
as well as
 to integrate into society after being released.
Consequently
, the judges will sentence the
punishment
 as lightly as possible to create opportunities for the
delinquents
 to be soon released to implement their goals. In turn, a small part of
offenders
 who are not remorseful about their
crimes
 will seemingly utilize
this
 situation to commit more
crimes
 to show their antisocial behaviours toward the world.
For example
,
this
 phenomenon is true in India, where, the
rate
 of criminal recidivism is worsening
due to
 the lack of seriousness in punishing the
criminals
 which is indicated through the light
punishment
 of the government.
However
, a solution can be found in the government's action toward the
criminals
. The most effective approach is to recruit some psychologists and require them to create a test for the
offenders
 to check comprehensively their psychology. Notwithstanding making a check, that test must show their personality traits, the way they utilize their brain when they commit a crime
as well as
 thoughts about their
crimes
.
As a result
, lawyers and public prosecutors can use
this
 result as reliable proof to sentence the
delinquents
. To give a clear example, the authorities in the USA apply a psychological system in trying a case process to advance the accuracy
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 punishing
delinquents
.
Therefore
, the high
rate
 of recidivism of
criminals
 stems from putting light
punishment
 on the
offenders
.
Nevertheless
, implementing psychology for
delinquents
 will deter the
rate
 of committing
crimes
 again.
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content
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
structure
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure, with a proper introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
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