In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree?

It is broadly believed that
academy
Replace the word
academic
show examples
education ought to provide free of charge tuition for everyone.
Although
I support
this
view, somehow, I assume that
this
could be a problem if each
university
applies
this
impractical view
due to
the
government
should take the burden.
Therefore
, there should be criteria for those who could get
this
benefit and the reasons will be elaborated on
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
following essay. On the one hand, in line with inflation, the fees in order to be in a
university
are getting higher and more expensive and, unfortunately, not all students can afford it.
Moreover
, the
government
should provide a scholarship or tuition help for some disciples.
Indonesian
Government
,
for instance
, provide massive scholarship only for the superb candidate for
Indonesian
. They help
Indonesian
people in order to be able to learn abroad at
university
.
As a consequence
, many Indonesians could afford an undergraduate degree or higher.
On the other hand
, if the policymakers provide massive scholarship, it would impact on economic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in Indonesia.
Therefore
, the
Indonesian
Government
do a schematic instrument or criteria to obtain brilliant candidates. As an illustration, people who have experience in social is more preferable to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
policy
maker
Fix the agreement mistake
makers
show examples
instead
of the people who only get
3.9
Correct article usage
a 3.9
show examples
GPA but do nothing
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
society. By way of conclusion, I am still convinced that
government
presence is the key to
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
some pupils in order to have a seat in
university
.
Nonetheless
, they
also
have to select the candidates so the chosen ones fulfil the minimum requirements.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Rephrase the sentence to improve clarity and coherence
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive explanation of how government scholarships can address the issue of expensive tuition fees
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your arguments
coherence cohesion
Use clearer and more concise language in your conclusion
coherence cohesion
Consider reorganizing your essay to have a clearer structure
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure throughout the essay

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