IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree?

#study #university #students #tuition #fees #people #education
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It is broadly believed that
academy
Replace the word
academic
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 education ought to provide free of charge tuition for everyone.
Although
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 I support
this
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 view, somehow, I assume that
this
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 could be a problem if each
university
Use synonyms
 applies
this
Linking Words
 impractical view
due to
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 the
government
Use synonyms
 should take the burden.
Therefore
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, there should be criteria for those who could get
this
Linking Words
 benefit and the reasons will be elaborated on
the
Change preposition
in the
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 following essay. On the one hand, in line with inflation, the fees in order to be in a
university
Use synonyms
 are getting higher and more expensive and, unfortunately, not all students can afford it.
Moreover
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, the
government
Use synonyms
 should provide a scholarship or tuition help for some disciples.
Indonesian
Use synonyms
Government
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, provide massive scholarship only for the superb candidate for
Indonesian
Use synonyms
. They help
Indonesian
Use synonyms
 people in order to be able to learn abroad at
university
Use synonyms
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, many Indonesians could afford an undergraduate degree or higher.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the policymakers provide massive scholarship, it would impact on economic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 in Indonesia.
Therefore
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, the
Indonesian
Use synonyms
Government
Use synonyms
 do a schematic instrument or criteria to obtain brilliant candidates. As an illustration, people who have experience in social is more preferable to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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policy
maker
Fix the agreement mistake
makers
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instead
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 of the people who only get
3.9
Correct article usage
a 3.9
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 GPA but do nothing
to
Change preposition
for
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 society. By way of conclusion, I am still convinced that
government
Use synonyms
 presence is the key to
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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 some pupils in order to have a seat in
university
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 have to select the candidates so the chosen ones fulfil the minimum requirements.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Rephrase the sentence to improve clarity and coherence
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive explanation of how government scholarships can address the issue of expensive tuition fees
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your arguments
coherence cohesion
Use clearer and more concise language in your conclusion
coherence cohesion
Consider reorganizing your essay to have a clearer structure
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure throughout the essay
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