addiction to the internet is a widespread problems. what problems does this causes? what is a suitable solution

#addiction #internet

A worrisome trend has emerged with

regards

Fix the agreement mistake

regard

show examples

people

who are addicted to the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

This

issue leads to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increased

obesity

and mental

health

problems

become

Verb problem

apply

show examples

worsening. A useful solution should be prioritised is addicts should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

cut back on the amount of

using

Verb problem

apply

show examples

social media and replace

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having some

hobbies

such

as reading

books

hanging

Correct word choice

and hanging

show examples

out with

friends

. First and foremost, a consequence

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be concerned about is the rate of

obesity

increasing.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

spend time on using the

internet

too much and do not have any time and plans to eat healthily and balance

the

Change the word

their

show examples

lifestyle.

As a result

obesity

adversely affects the life expectancy and habits of diet,

For example

, in the USA, the proportion of teenagers being overweight is approximately 40%.

Thus

, that is an alarming number of mankind's physical

health

. Another repercussion should be acknowledged that mental

health

problems

due to

obsession with the

internet

become more worsening.

This

due to

the fact that whilst using online with a

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

or laptop,

people

just chat with

friends

or acquaintances via a screen without any talking or communication with other

people

As a result

, addicts tend to live in their own world,

hesitate

Correct word choice

and hesitate

show examples

to speak out loud and some mental

health

problems

such

as stress,

depression

Correct word choice

and depression

show examples

appear and have a detrimental effect on them.

For example

, a study has shown that 60% of

people

have some mental

health

problems

due to

overusing the

internet

However

, a step

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be taken to mitigate

this

problem is the addict's attempt to replace that bad habit with other positive

hobbies

such

as reading

books

hanging

Correct word choice

and hanging

show examples

out with

friends

. With

this

approach, addicts can be more healthy and may have a

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

routine and lifestyle.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

hobbies

like reading

books

listening

Correct word choice

and listening

show examples

to music are positive,

have

Correct word choice

and have

show examples

an optimistic way

to shape

Change preposition

of shaping

show examples

their life.

For instance

, many

people

try to get rid of the addiction and

then

havea

Correct your spelling

have a

have

healthy life. In conclusion,

obesity

and mental

health

problems

are both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

concerning consequences, yet

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be tackled by replacing the bad

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing other

hobbies

such

as reading

books

hanging

Correct word choice

and hanging

show examples

out with

friends

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Sun Oct 15 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

363 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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addiction to the internet is a widespread problems. what problems does this causes? what is a suitable solution

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In the past, most employed people went to a place of work to do their jobs. These days, more and more people are choosing to work from home. What are the reasons for this change? is this a positive or a negative development?

Many people today, especially in the developed world, are choosing to have fewer children, or none at all. Why is this happening, and do you think it is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that there are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.