Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent times, several
people
have had conflicts about whether employers have to obey the
dress
principles in office or
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
productivity of
work
is their priority. I strongly believe that
people
should concentrate on the quality of their
work
completely
instead
of their
dress
, and
this
essay serves to elaborate on my opinion. A majority of
people
argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers prioritize the quality of their
work
. When
people
pay all their attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
working, their production and performance in a
company
will be better and bring several benefits for both themselves and
this
company
instead
of spending time on resolving the problem related to fashion. Specifically, their
company
receives more reputation,
hence
employment's career and position may have a chance to be promoted.
For instance
,
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
prestigious
company
like Apple, there are not
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
requirements about the
employment's
Change noun form
employees'
show examples
dress
, Apple's
employments
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
spend most time on design, fixing errors, and enhancing their products. These
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
made Apple become a famous and successful brand and community with several electronic devices existing
anywhere
Rephrase
everywhere
show examples
.
Moreover
, the
dress
restrictions may expand the gap between employment in their working environment. Several companies force their workers to wear impolite clothes with many costume accessories, some staff want to show their wealth to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others by their fashion style and only interact with
people
who have brand clothes like them and avoid
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
with
people
wearing simple clothes.
Hence
, after a long
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of working environment may become a fashion competition,
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
people
have to create ideas,
products
Correct word choice
and products
show examples
to promote and increase
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
profit. Many companies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
collapsed
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
a similar reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the directors create complicated and unnecessary principles that lead to low quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working environment, so many employees quit their jobs and these companies lose their customers. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
firmly believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bosses should not impose
dressing
Replace the word
dress
show examples
rules
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their staff based on the effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the productivity and workplace.
Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
What to do next:
Look at other essays: