IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.

The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.
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The pictures illustrate how liquid chocolate is produced. There are 10 steps in the pictures from growing cacao tree to pressing liquid chocolate.
The first step is
Linking Words
 that the cacao tree which has ripe red pods was grown in South America, Africa, and Indonesia.
Then
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 ripe red pods with white cocoa
beans
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 are harvested by farmers. After that,
beans
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 are fermented. In the following step,
beans
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 are spread in the sun to dry.
Next,
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dried
beans
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 are put in large sacks. The second step is that sacks are transported by train or lorry, and they are taken to the factory. After the
beans
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 are roasted,
beans
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 are
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then
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apply
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crushed and the outer shells are removed.
Finally
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, the inner part of pressed liquid chocolate is produced.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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