around the world, many animals species become extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must try to solve this problem .Others believe that concentrating on problems of human beings is more important than those concerning species. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is an existing trend that in many parts of the world, animal
species
are going to the edge of
extinction
.
While
some people hold the point of view that nations and each one of us have to tackle
this
problem, others think that
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on
worries
Correct article usage
the worries
show examples
of human beings is more crucial than those concerning animals. I am of the opinion that we should concentrate our efforts on preserving animal
species
.
However
, both viewpoints will be discussed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
essay. On one side of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
show examples
, we must combat the situation of the human race.
Such
as
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
low standards of living.
While
industrialized countries have fully built their economies, developing and under-developed countries have not put more resources into them to improve
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
lives.
Moreover
, we need more social stability. Natural disasters, political events and the horrors of war are still part of life, and they should be taken into consideration.
However
, we must tackle the problem of mass
extinction
.
As food
Correct word choice
Food
show examples
insecurity is a major issue. Animals are an important part of the food chain.
Therefore
,
extinction
disrupts the balance of the ecosystem
cannot
Correct word choice
and cannot
show examples
provide the basics for the population. Another point that should be put under consideration is that humans have the responsibility to prevent
extinction
. To be more precise, human activities cause environmental pollution , which lead to the disappearance of many animal
species
the responsibility of protecting the environment and animal rests with humans. In conclusion, I would say that people and nations should focus on preserving animal
species
.
Submitted by thanhlampham911 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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