around the world, many animals species become extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must try to solve this problem .Others believe that concentrating on problems of human beings is more important than those concerning species. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is an existing trend that in many parts of the world, animal
species
Use synonyms
are going to the edge of
extinction
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
some people hold the point of view that nations and each one of us have to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem, others think that
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on
worries
Correct article usage
the worries
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of human beings is more crucial than those concerning animals. I am of the opinion that we should concentrate our efforts on preserving animal
species
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.
However
Linking Words
, both viewpoints will be discussed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay. On one side of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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, we must combat the situation of the human race.
Such
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as
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
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low standards of living.
While
Linking Words
industrialized countries have fully built their economies, developing and under-developed countries have not put more resources into them to improve
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's
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lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we need more social stability. Natural disasters, political events and the horrors of war are still part of life, and they should be taken into consideration.
However
Linking Words
, we must tackle the problem of mass
extinction
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.
As food
Correct word choice
Food
show examples
insecurity is a major issue. Animals are an important part of the food chain.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
extinction
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disrupts the balance of the ecosystem
cannot
Correct word choice
and cannot
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provide the basics for the population. Another point that should be put under consideration is that humans have the responsibility to prevent
extinction
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. To be more precise, human activities cause environmental pollution , which lead to the disappearance of many animal
species
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the responsibility of protecting the environment and animal rests with humans. In conclusion, I would say that people and nations should focus on preserving animal
species
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.
Submitted by thanhlampham911 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present in your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on your grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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