around the world, many animals species become extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must try to solve this problem .Others believe that concentrating on problems of human beings is more important than those concerning species. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is an existing trend that in many parts of the world, animal
species
are going to the edge of extinction
. While
some people hold the point of view that nations and each one of us have to tackle this
problem, others think that focus
on Wrong verb form
focusing
worries
of human beings is more crucial than those concerning animals. I am of the opinion that we should concentrate our efforts on preserving animal Correct article usage
the worries
species
. However
, both viewpoints will be discussed on
Change preposition
in
this
essay.
On one side of argument
, we must combat the situation of the human race. Add an article
the argument
an argument
Such
as experience
low standards of living. Wrong verb form
experiencing
While
industrialized countries have fully built their economies, developing and under-developed countries have not put more resources into them to improve citizens
lives. Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
Moreover
, we need more social stability. Natural disasters, political events and the horrors of war are still part of life, and they should be taken into consideration.
However
, we must tackle the problem of mass extinction
. As food
insecurity is a major issue. Animals are an important part of the food chain. Correct word choice
Food
Therefore
, extinction
disrupts the balance of the ecosystem cannot
provide the basics for the population. Another point that should be put under consideration is that humans have the responsibility to prevent Correct word choice
and cannot
extinction
. To be more precise, human activities cause environmental pollution , which lead to the disappearance of many animal species
the responsibility of protecting the environment and animal rests with humans.
In conclusion, I would say that people and nations should focus on preserving animal species
.Submitted by thanhlampham911 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present in your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on your grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite