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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today’s time, many countries are
tried
Wrong verb form
trying
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 to improve their life standards
by
Change preposition
through
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 economic growth but meanwhile ,it’s necessary to not disrupt their social values.
This
Linking Words
 development presents some threats but
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 still believe that the advantages are far greater than those. It’s important for every nation to make their economy much better
with
Change preposition
from
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 time to time because it is a source of generating wealth. When
nation’s
Correct article usage
a nation’s
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 economy is going well
then
Linking Words
 they have plenty
options
Change preposition
of options
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 to spend money on the
people
Use synonyms
 to improve their life standards up to the mark. They build new cities,
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
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, parks ,schools and
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 with the idea of providing
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 facilities
as well as
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 improving their old areas with the idea of preserving the cultural heritage to gain maximum tourism activities which will
also
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 help to make their economy work better.
For instance
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, European countries are earning too much money from foreign tourists.
In addition
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 to that, we will
also
Linking Words
 not lose
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 values which we
are getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 from our ancestors which
links
Correct subject-verb agreement
link
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 us to the past
so
Rephrase
apply
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therefore
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, it is our responsibility to conserve these
to
Change preposition
for
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 the upcoming generation
while
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 working on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life standards. Apart from that, sometimes we
are only focus
Change the verb form
are only focused
are only focusing
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 on getting money and spending too much on infrastructure .
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 If our country is good in any speciality
then
Linking Words
 we will start making buildings to expand our development in the areas of old buildings
instead
Linking Words
 of preserving and
renovate
Wrong verb form
renovating
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 them which
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
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 to our forefathers. We need to understand that it is our identity which
reflect
Change the verb form
reflects
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us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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our old architectural work to the
people
Use synonyms
 but we demolished and
impose
Wrong verb form
imposed
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 new buildings which will not merge
to
Change preposition
with
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 the old architecture.
However
Linking Words
, it gives you a new identity which
indulge
Change the verb form
indulges
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 us in chaos because we are forgetting our cultural traditions and
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not hold our one identity.
To conclude
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,working for the betterment of the
people
Use synonyms
 is our primary goal to exceed in the world and facilitate their
people
Use synonyms
 with every possible option.So,that’s why I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh the potential drawbacks.

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task achievement
Ensure that all the main points are directly related to the topic and address the question thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • social values
  • materialism
  • community welfare
  • sustainable technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • social stratification
  • social cohesion
  • economic status
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