Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group acitivities in their free time. Others say that this is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
When discussing
leisure
time
, some argue that children
are better off managing their own time
rather than having it organized by their parents
. The writer of this
essay contends that parental control
over children
's time
is preferable as it helps them learn time
management skills and prevents excessive use of technology, even though managing their own time
could lead to better improvement of their hobbies
.
It is undeniable that nurturing teenagers' interest in their favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
activities
is a significant benefit of allowing them to manage their free time
. Each child has unique hobbies
, and they are the best judges of their own interests. Consequently
, they are likely to invest a considerable amount of time
in these activities
. Therefore
, leisure
time
provides an ideal opportunity for teenagers to pursue their passions, regardless of the time
investment required. Thus
, the more freedom parents
grant their children
, the more they can develop their hobbies
.
However
, parental organization
can assist youngsters in effectively managing their Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
time
. Children
often tend to be careless about time
when engrossed in their Add an article
a time
the time
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
activities
. Parents
, with their deep understanding of their children
and experience in managing time
, can provide valuable lessons in time
management by organizing their schedules. Consequently
, although
this
may pose a challenge for parents
, it greatly benefits their children
.
From the author's perspective, preventing youngsters from becoming passive in front of screens is a crucial advantage of parental control
over children
's schedules. In today's technology-driven era, high-tech software significantly influences how young people spend their leisure
time
. Without parental guidance, children
may easily become addicted to digital gadgets. Therefore
, organizing time
for children
is essential to keep them away from excessive screen time
.
In conclusion, both allowing children
to manage their own time
and having parents
control
their schedules have their merits. However
, parental guidance offers advantages such
as teaching time
management skills and preventing over-reliance on technology. While
owning free time
allows children
to focus on their individual hobbies
, parental control
ensures they learn essential life skills and maintain a healthy balance in their leisure
activities
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You've addressed both views comprehensively and provided a clear opinion. To further improve, you could provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points in order to make your argument even stronger.
coherence
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The logical flow of ideas is strong, but you can enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
coherence
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. Using more complex sentences mixed with simpler ones can improve the overall quality.
coherence
You have a solid structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well-supported, making your argument clear and compelling.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented, and you have addressed the task requirements effectively.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.