Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the time their children spend watching TV and playing games and encourage them to spend this time reading books. Do you agree or disagree?
These days, children have become increasingly
addcited
to Correct your spelling
addicted
television
, games
, and smartphone
. Some individuals reckon that parents should limit their pupil's Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
time
spending
Replace the word
spent
with
Change preposition
on
these entertainment
, Change the determiner
this entertainment
these entertainments
which
I definitely agree with the statement. In Correct word choice
and
this
essay, the reason to support my point of view will be elaborated on the
following paragraphs.
Juveniles who spend too much Change preposition
in the
time
playing video games
, watching television
, and scrolling mobile phone
are likely to suffer from health problems. First of all, their eyes can get Fix the agreement mistake
phones
injuried
Correct your spelling
injured
from
the blue light that Change preposition
by
releases
from the electrical screens. Wrong verb form
is released
According to
the statistical datas
, 90 Correct your spelling
data
percent
of kids who play Change the spelling
per cent
games
for more than 7 hours a days
properly Correct the article-noun agreement
days
a day
wears
glasses Correct subject-verb agreement
wear
due to
eyes problem. Furthermore
, the performance of study
or Wrong verb form
studying
remember
a lesson can be reduced because these kids spend more Wrong verb form
remembering
time
with entertainment rather than concentrating the
lecture.
Change preposition
on the
In addition
, addicted
to Add a missing verb
being addicted
television
or video games
can lead to desocialization. As these kids is
likely to isolate themselves from friends and family, they do not know how to be in Change the verb form
are
relationship
with others, which will make their life difficult in the future. From my experience, during Correct article usage
a relationship
highschools
closure , I played online Correct your spelling
high school
games
for more than 8 hours everyday
and quarantined myself in my personal room. As Replace the word
every day
the
result, I had Correct article usage
a
the
severe conflict with my mother and father almost Correct article usage
apply
everyday
, which led to a toxic relationship Replace the word
every day
among
my family.
In conclusion, too much watching Change preposition
in
television
and playing games
adversely affect children's health,
and socialization. Remove the comma
apply
Therefore
, parents should impose the
rules to limit Correct article usage
apply
time
Add an article
the time
of
these useless activities Change preposition
for
otherwise
these entertainment
can ruin our pupils' Change the determiner
this entertainment
these entertainments
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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