IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are moving from rural areas to live in cities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be solved?

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It is
beeing
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being

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withnessed
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noted

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that rural-urban migration is happening with an increasing trend, and
this
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phenominon
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phenomenon

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has brought about
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a numbers

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numbers
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number

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 of issues,
such
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 as
overgrowing
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the overgrowing

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 of inflation levels in housing prices and
uprising
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the uprising

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 trend of traffic
conjection
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consumption

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.
However
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, these problems could be resolved easily if some proper actions are taken.
Initially
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there has been an astronomical rise in accommodation prices in recent years following the increase in
demands
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demand

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 for
puchasing
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purchasing

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or renting houses and
appartments
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apartments

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. The reason is that construction sites are not able to build new projects in proportion to the number of people coming to megacities each year; So it is straightforward to see that accommodation costs go even higher as
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trend is going to continue.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 to that, traffic
conjestion
Correct your spelling
congestion

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is another reason to be worried about the growing population of urban areas. There are more petrol-driven vehicles in the streets than ever before which has
eventuated
Verb problem
resulted

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 in turning cities
to
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into

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 a big source of air pollution these days.
Goverments
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Governments
Government

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and local authorities are mostly responsible for these negative effects of rural-urban migration. They can simply adopt some plausible approaches to prevent the immigration of
rural
Correct article usage
the rural

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 populace to the metropolises, as the most important underlying cause of
above-mentioned
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned

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 problems.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, job opportunities in remote towns should be enhanced in order to make it possible for recently graduated students to land a decent job in their own province.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if more people are persuaded to stay in their hometown the traffic
conjestion
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congestion

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in cities will be automatically reduced as
the
Correct article usage
apply

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fewer individuals will be commuting in the overpopulated cities. With
ragard
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regard
regards

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to
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the everincreaing
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everincreaing
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ever increasing

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living costs of city life caused by the high demand for houses, officials should encourage new
constructing
Replace the word
construction

The word constructing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 projects,
specially
Replace the word
especially

The word specially may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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 in
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts

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, by funding them.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 can tremendously help the prices to decline to a logical amount in a short
peiod
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period

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of time. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it seems to be hard to deal with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 matter at
the
Correct article usage
apply

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first glance,
yet
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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if immediate actions are taken to discourage people from choosing megacities for living, there will be no more issues caused by rural-urban migration.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the main ideas of the essay and includes a thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical and coherent manner, using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
lexical resource
Improve the range and accuracy of your vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on the accuracy of your grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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