The given bar chart shows the difference of the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.

#bar #difference #students #university #graduates #canadian #cities

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

bar chart shows the difference

Change preposition

show examples

the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.

Graphic

Add an article

The graphic

A graphic

show examples

illustrates that in 2006

were

Correct pronoun usage

there were

show examples

much

Fix the agreement mistake

many

show examples

more graduates than in 2001 and

that is

the main thing which can be instantly noticed in the bar chart. New

Brunswick

had one of the highest

percentage

Fix the agreement mistake

percentages

show examples

in 2006 among other universities. As for Ontario, it had the

most

Correct word choice

highest

show examples

minimum percentage in comparison with others.

2001

Change the article

The 2001

show examples

year has the same results

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but in a less range. Apparently, New

Brunswick

is the most popular and easily

accesible

Correct your spelling

accessible

institute even from 2001. So Ontario is

on the contrary

. So to summarise the given line graph, It

enlightens

Verb problem

shows

show examples

that in

compare

Replace the word

comparison

show examples

between 2001 and 2006, 2006

year takes

Verb problem

has

show examples

more international popularity. Even if it is obvious that New

Brunswick

and Ontario

takes

Correct subject-verb agreement

take

show examples

positions of the highest and lowest in

this

graphic, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

one university which became more popular as New

Brunswick

in 2006 unlike in 2001.

That is

British Columbia

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

Submitted by dnm.best on Mon Oct 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words brunswick with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "difference" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

171 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Write a letter to a friend who worked at your previous company. You have moved to a new job in a new city. • describe your city • describe your job • describe the arrangements for him to visit you Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .....,
I am writing a letter to inform you about my new company.
5
band
The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a hole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
In this digital world, more and more people gravitate towards online communication. from my perspective, this approach, albeit somewhat beneficial, may come at an expense of more pronounced drawbacks.
5.5
band
In the past when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? you should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Since the world started to be a more cosmopolitan place, young people began to study abroad rather than in their own country in order to exploit more opportunities. This essay will outline how the brain drain affects the economy and the work fields of a country, but also how this is a powerful chance for students. Whilst acknowledging that there are drawbacks, the essay will argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
6
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
These days, an increasing number of students have decided to take one year gap after their high school graduation. From my perspective, while such discontinuity seems disadvantageous, I believe it can be beneficial for pupils in the long run.
7.5
band
Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some languages are in the phase of extinction due to the low population of the speakers. A group of people believes that governments should allocate some budget to preserve these languages, but others think that it would not be effective and efficient. The following essay will discuss both opinions, but I believe that maintaining the diversity of languages is an important thing.

The given bar chart shows the difference of the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a hole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.