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Band 4

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

#happiness #life #factors
Few nations take interest in local transport to give them first priority which means they do not prefer
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
vehicle
transportation
. In my opinion, it is beneficial and my justification will come in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
paragraphas
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
paragraph
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
 I will discuss both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and give some relative examples. To commence with, there are several reasons why some countries promote public transport
instead
 of personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
Firstly
, there are increasing number of vehicles which create
lost
Correct your spelling
lots
show examples
 of pollution in
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and people find traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 in many places.
For instance
,
growing
Add an article
a growing
show examples
 number of personal vehicles are not suitable for any emergency situation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
 individuals find traffic problems
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be
Correct article usage
a wast
show examples
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 of their lots of
time
.
Secondly
, poor citizens can not afford their own
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
therefore
 they rely on public
transportation
.
Thirdly
, the majority of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
getting
Verb problem
arrive
show examples
 late and
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 their workplace or students
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not prefer
this
 kind of environment.
Furthermore
, the government want to increase their source of money from taxes, toll tax
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
emergency used equipment and accident insurance.
Moreover
, public
transportation
 not only
cutdown
Correct your spelling
cut down
show examples
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of accident
happen
Correct pronoun usage
that happen
show examples
 but
also
 increase
Correct article usage
the ecomony
show examples
ecomony
Correct your spelling
economy
.
On the other hand
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
promoting public transport there are some disadvantages there of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
poublic
Correct your spelling
public
. All human beings
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,
coach
Fix the agreement mistake
coaches
show examples
 and
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
individuals
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 find their comfort zone and they need to wait longer
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and
crowded
Change preposition
in crowded
show examples
 places in trains.
In addition
, native people
moveing forwad
Correct your spelling
moving forward
 and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 their personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 for their
time
 management,
efficiency
Correct word choice
and efficiency
show examples
 and whenever they need at that timethey use their personal
vehicle
. To recapitulate, the
administrative
Replace the word
administration
show examples
 should encourage people to
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 public
transportation
 but they
also
 need to follow
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
 of public
transportation
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
 and many more. Eventually, they should
analyzing
Wrong verb form
analyse
show examples
 data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 personal
vehicle
 use.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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