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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

#cultures #children #message
In many countries, it is common to encourage children that they can be successful in anything if they
work
 hard enough to reach it. The basic advantage
from
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of
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kids
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kids'
kid's
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work
that
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is that
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 will
beneficial
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benefit
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 them in the future why? Because they learn earlier.
In
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On
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the others
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others
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other
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 hand, there are
also
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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, which they feeling under pressure,
as well as
collapse
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collapsing
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in
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at
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beginning
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the beginning
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 of life. In my opinion,
this
 advantage overcome the flow.
Firstly
, the main benefit of
try
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trying
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 to advise children to try hard
work
, and
freezer comfortable
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freeze comfortably
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in
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at
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this
 age,
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is because
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because
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that
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 when we put
this
 strategy in their heads, automatically, they
have
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will
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 not
to
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apply
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be tired in
business
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the business
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 world.
For example
, I was playing when I was in high school. After a period of time when I graduated, I faced a lot of trouble because I did not know how I
can
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could
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work
 seriously and efficiently. I had failed in any
tasks
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task
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 rather than a success, so I will strongly encourage the children to try hard to achieve their goals as soon as possible. 
Secondly
, there drawback in
this
 message, we put them under pressure from
this
 idea. The
brain
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brains
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 of kids don't analyse the
benefit
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benefits
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from
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of
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this
 system so take
of
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apply
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their
funny
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apply
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time to
trying
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try
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 seriously to find out the goal.
For instance
,
Dr.
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Dr
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Ahmed had
saied
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said
saved
an
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in an
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 article"
send
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Send
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 solution of younger age did not discrimination between serious
work
, and
a
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an
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 attacked
work
, we should
shows
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show
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 them the way to
this
 message, but without
made
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making
show examples
 a strain on them. In conclusion, I discussed in
this
say
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essay
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 among many benefits and drawbacks of data,
largest
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the largest
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 of child labour have been strongly debated from
young
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a young
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 age. Personally, I believe that cannot help them
commitment
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commit
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 to get a high place in business life in future.
Submitted by ra18d.ai on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear topic and connects to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Revise the introduction and conclusion to provide clearer signposting and summarization of the main points.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
Develop and expand your ideas to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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