IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to work a lot, and spend less time on leisure activities. I think that this has more drawbacks than benefits

#people #work #time #leisure #activities
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Nowadays, the world become more competitive than
the
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in the
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 past. Many people are always forced to be as productive as
possbile
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possible
.
As a result
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, they tend to prioritise their
time
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 to
work
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 more than recreational or
relex
Correct your spelling
relax
reflex
 activities. Personally, I think
that is
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 not a good way to have a quality life and I am going to explain the
reason
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 why. The first
reason
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 is
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
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 lifestyle. When people contribute most of their
time
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for
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to
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work
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, it
affects
Verb problem
results
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to
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in
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 many physical and mental problems.
For example
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, spending
time
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 too much
for
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on
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work
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, the following issues are lack of quality and sufficient rest, well-nutrient eating, proper
work
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-out and so on. The result of these behaviours
are
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is
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 getting worse in both physical and mental health.
The another
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Another
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reason
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 is less productive at
work
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. Even though
someone
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some
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thinks
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think
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 the more we spend
time
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to
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working
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work
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, the more we are productive,
However
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, the reality is the opposite way. Many researches show that if we organize our
time
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 to both
work
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 and rest properly, it leads to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more
qualitily
Correct your spelling
quality
 and productive
work
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.
Bacuase
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Because
 when we give our
time
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 too much at
work
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, we going to lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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inspirational and creative thinking, and these things are the
neccessary
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necessary
 materials to improve and develop
the
Change the word
our
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 way of working to be better.
To sum up
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, I think people should organize
time
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 for working and leisure activities appropriately. The
reason
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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relexing
Correct your spelling
relaxing
time
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 can make us
more
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apply
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healthier, not only physically but
also
Linking Words
 mentally.
Moreover
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, having well rest
time
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 can improve the quality of
work
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,
due to
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 getting more creative and inspirational ideas to adapt
in
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to
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 the
work
Use synonyms
 process.
Submitted by tah.siwakorn on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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