IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction on 1960.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction on 1960.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction
The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1960. As can be observed from the maps, the Queen Mary Hospital changed rapidly between 1960 and 2000. The most efficient was
opening
Correct article usage
the opening
show examples
 of three different stages in
hospitals
Change the noun form
hospital
show examples
 development. In 1960, the Queen Mary Hospital was constructed close to the main road. Near the shopping
centre
, behind
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 car park and behind of shopping
centre
 it is farmland.
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 1980,
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
 opened a new branch – pharmacy in a half
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of a former shopping
centre
. In the next half built cancer
centre
. Farmland turned into nursing school.
Car
Correct article usage
The car
show examples
 park stayed the same place. In
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
show examples
,
cancer
Add an article
the cancer
show examples
centre
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tripled, but nursing
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and car
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 decreased in size. It
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
show examples
centre
 stayed around
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
medical buildings.
Overall
, the street across the main road turned into a
three staged
Correct your spelling
three-stage
show examples
 hospital department.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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