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Band 5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
With progressing technology, e-
books
 and news have become more accessible to people and in recent years individuals have demonstrated considerable inclination toward reading them
instead
 of paying money for printed
books
 or newspapers. I, partly agree with
this
 issue as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it would not be proper in all situations.
To begin
 with, I think the most significant benefit of
this
 approach is helping the betterment of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, and to some extent
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the human effects on it.
In other words
, taking
this
 measure would prevent the redundant use of natural resources and money, and people can save them for future generations. To illustrate
this
, when I decided to enhance my English language I downloaded my required
books
 from the internet which helped me to save money tremendously.
Furthermore
, the accessibility and convenience
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using them have made them possible to read all over the world.
In particular
, online audio
books
 have enlarged the benefits and attracted much attention.
On the other hand
, staring at the monitor screen or cell phone for a long time may have some adverse effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 readers’ health.
For instance
, it may weaken
readers
Change noun form
readers'
reader's
show examples
 eyesight or cause backache.
In addition
, as reading
book
Correct article usage
a book
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 laptop or cell phone screen may be boring or tedious, children and adolescents may not have a tendency to perform in
this
 way, Because, the importance of
this
 issue is not perceivable to them yet.
This
 may discourage them
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 reading. In conclusion, there are tremendous benefits in reading
books
 online and can help the betterment of the Earth and creatures.
however
, I think it would not be proper for all age groups.
Thus
,it would be better to explore
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every policy wisely and
Correct your spelling
carefully
cosisely
Correct your spelling
concisely
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer stance on the issue (agree or disagree) in the introduction.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and academic language.
grammatical range accuracy
Use complex sentence structures to showcase a higher level of grammatical range and accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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