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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

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In some regions, young adults are motivated to work or travel for a
year
Use synonyms
 between ending secondary education and starting tertiary education. There are many pros and cons regarding young people making
such
Linking Words
 a decision. Shedding
a
Correct article usage
apply
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light on whether students would take a gap
year
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 to travel or work before starting university, there are lots of advantages to discuss. To start with, taking the time to travel before college improves
the
Change the word
my
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 personality . To clarify, travelling exposes the individual to various cultures giving the chance to deal with different people with a completely unusual mindset,
as well as
Linking Words
 helping the person learn new languages.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, working before university develops
the
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apply
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character and builds several important
life
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 skills that are not taught in class. To explain, working teaches you the value of money and how hard it is to earn it making you more responsible, mature, and independent in
life
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.
However
Linking Words
, the river has another side where
also
Linking Words
 the disadvantages should be taken into consideration.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if the student does not set up goals it will potentially be a waste of time.
For example
Linking Words
, the person should have everything planned ahead or else it might go wrong to end up realising you have wasted a
year
Use synonyms
 of your
life
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 in nothing.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the student might lose the desire to return
back
Rephrase
apply
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to studies. To simplify, if you enjoy your time away too much you may lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
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interest in getting back to your normal studies or career. In a nutshell, There are multiple positives and negatives to doing activities for a
year
Use synonyms
 between the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 of high school and the first
year
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 of university. I believe that it is important to learn
life
Use synonyms
 skills which are not taught in books as it is very beneficial to the individual and the society.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical manner. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your position, then provide supporting points in separate paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. Review the use of articles, verb tenses, and sentence connectors.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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