Some people think that the media have the right to publish details of people's view, while others think it should be managed. Discuss both views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A significant number of people hold the perception that the
press
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the power
in publishing
Change preposition
to publish
show examples
thorough information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
assertion,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, another school of thought
also
Linking Words
share the sentiment that
this
Linking Words
trend should be mitigated.
This
Linking Words
essay will totally endorse the former view,
however
Linking Words
, the two opposing sentiments will
be discuss
Change the verb form
be discussed
show examples
in the following paragraphs after which a logical conclusion will be drawn. On the one hand, when the media
expose
Correct subject-verb agreement
exposes
show examples
mankind info, it can put lives in danger. To elaborate, a young man in my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
was beaten to death because of
bad
Add an article
a bad
the bad
show examples
comment he made.
This
Linking Words
trend occurred
as a result
Linking Words
of the
press
Use synonyms
exposing
such
Linking Words
comments
as well as
Linking Words
his background. If
such
Linking Words
Correct article usage
a phenomenon
show examples
phenomenon
Correct article usage
a phenomenon
show examples
continues,
then
Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
will lose trust in the media. Admittedly, exposure of
folks
Change noun form
folks'
folk's
show examples
data will put people in their early graves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is blatant that mankind
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
famous when newspapers showcase
a thorough information
Remove the article
thorough information
a piece of thorough information
show examples
about the populace. To explicate, Twene Jonas used to be an ordinary person but after he started addressing issues concerning
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Ghanaians
Replace the word
Ghanaian
show examples
citizens and the
press
Use synonyms
posting it on their various platforms, he became
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
well-known. Despite the fact that humans
turn
Verb problem
can
show examples
be famous, the background of the citizens can not be put in danger.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
myriad of ways one can be a celebrity
such
Linking Words
as helping the needy.
For example
Linking Words
, research conducted by non organization two years ago revealed that sixty per cent of people end up being famous when supporting the needy. In conclusion, after examining the two contradictory views, I strongly believe that
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
will be at risk when
expose
Wrong verb form
exposed
show examples
and
therefore
Linking Words
, it should be stopped. In view of
this
Linking Words
, I recommend that
Use synonyms
press
Correct article usage
the press
show examples
should come out with different ways of posting one's data.
Submitted by mboadi211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Rephrase and simplify sentences for clarity and coherence.
content
Expand on the ideas and provide more supporting details and examples.
structure
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs and a proper introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: