Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
day and age, some perspectives of individuals extend that
music
is a main factor
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
stress and anxiety. I completely agree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
statement and my initiatives will be proven with relevant examples in
this
essay. Obviously,
music
is
considerably
Add an article
a considerably
show examples
major mitigating factor that most
people
are addicted to
listen
Change the verb form
listening
show examples
to
music
when they find themselves in a trouble situation or accept any hurt to torture them. In
words
Correct word choice
other words
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, classical
music
decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feelings
of depression and anxiety since it tend to have
soothing
Add an article
a soothing
show examples
rhythm that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
issue relating to high blood pressure . Some scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
show that some
music
works composed by Beethoven ,
Mozart
Correct word choice
and Mozart
show examples
are advised to
consume
Wrong verb form
be consumed
show examples
before taking exam or attending job interviews
due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
that they are able to
stake to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
overwhelm agitation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of exciting situations.
On the other hand
,
music
can be
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
“psychologist “ or “friend” for some
people
when they have to be alone with their emotions and
feelings
being suffered from some troubling positions. Unlike extroverted humans, Introverted
people
prefer to be lonely with their inner
feelings
and thoughts rather than participate in psychologist appointments when their mental health is incurring damaging situations. And at
this
time , listening to
music
about sadness can make them cry and throw out their sorrows in tears. Behind
this
, they eliminate psychic crowdedness in their brain in spite of the fact that they do not try to make any appointments with psychologists .
To sum up
, any genre of
music
not only can be a
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
principal cause to improve individuals’ lifestyles but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
supports them as
“reliable
Correct article usage
a “reliable
show examples
company” for
people
who live in their own world and focus on their inner
feelings
and thoughts.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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