IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
Living
along with
climate
change
 is an option that people opt
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
 I disagree with
this
 opinion, since humans are not able to adapt to a new environment transitory, and triumph over it could be easier. First of all, nowadays
climate
change
 occurs by accumulation of an unprecedented phenomenon which
close-related
Wrong verb form
is related
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
industry revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
show examples
. The revolution caused integral problems,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 global warming,
acid
 rain, and social disintegration.
In addition
, the world witnesses global warming from the gas-trapped mechanism
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
glass-houses
Correct your spelling
glass-house
show examples
 gasses
such
 as carbon dioxide produced by transportation industries.
Acid
 rain happens when the
acid
 materials from the chemical industries evaporate and condense in the sky,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
precipitate with high acidity and may cause corrosion in some metal stuff.
Lastly
, social disintegration may happen from industry deforestation which makes the local community apart from its indigenous circumstances and could lead to social conflicts.
Furthermore
, tackling the impending problems caused by
climate
change
 may be easier than adapting to it. Gas-trapped mechanisms can be reduced by using less fossil-sourced fuel
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and replacing it with renewable ones
such
 as electricity from wind.
Acid
 rain could be prevented by rigid regulations to constrain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factory development in certain areas. Social disintegration might be solved by more sustainable forest-used industry plans,
such
 as making an industry-forest to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the needs of certain materials.
On the other hand
, adapting to a new environment, people may find difficulties. Biological attributes play an important role,
while
 the modification of it
for adapting
Change preposition
to adapt
show examples
 well may take a long time to achieve. High temperatures could be lethal for humans when the adaptation process is in progress. So, it may not be possible to live with
climate
change
 currently.
Thus
, wise choices to overcome
climate
change
's problems need to be taken meticulously, because it involves a great demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
, political, social, and cultural aspects to prevail.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: