The pie graphs represent the proportion of Yemen and Italy population in three different ages over 50-year period between 2000 and 2050

The pie graphs represent the proportion of Yemen and Italy population in three different ages over 50-year period between 2000 and 2050
The pie graphs represent the proportion of Yemen and
Italy
Change noun form
Italy's
show examples
population
in three different
ages
over
50-year
Add an article
a 50-year
the 50-year
show examples
period between 2000 and 2050.
Overall
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a significant increase in the percentages of
ages
of
Yemen
Correct article usage
the Yemen
show examples
population
, except for
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
of 0-14
years
,
while
the
ages
of 15-59
years
will be projected to be the highest number of people. Meanwhile, the
population
of
ages
in Italy experienced a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
show examples
decrease, except
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
older
ages
,
whereas
the
ages
population
of 15-59
years
is higher than
ages
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60+
years
.
According to
the chart,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Yemen’s
population
figure of age 0-14
years
was the highest portion in 2000 with just above
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half,
while
in the next five
decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
show examples
, it will be predicted to experience a
down ward
Correct your spelling
downward
show examples
trend at 37%.
Furthermore
, the group age of 15-59
years
(46,3%) was less than
ages
of 0-14
years
in 2000, but the projection in the future will account
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
largest
population
at around 57%.
Additionally
, the number of populations for 60+
years
maintain
Correct subject-verb agreement
maintains
show examples
almost the same figure (3.6% and 5,7% respectively), and there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
slight discrepancy between them around 2%.
On the other hand
, the majority of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in Italy for all
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
was attributed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
ages
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
of 15-59
years
despite experiencing a
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
trend.
Moreover
, the quantity of 60+
years
was smaller than the prediction, or it was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double less. Eventually, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar portion for
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
ages
Change the noun form
age
show examples
population
of 0-14
years
(14,3% and 11,5% respectively), and the gap between data and prediction is about 2%.
Submitted by ieltsyusepridwango on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, ages, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "represent" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: