Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In recent days, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a trend that well-known artists have income bigger than people who work

for

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politics.

This

Linking Words

essay will show two cases and explain why it

influents

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influences

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this

Linking Words

tendency, in my opinion, it is an adverse development. There are two main reasons why celebrities generate more income than politicians.

Firstly

Linking Words

, well-known artists

often

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are often

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famous through their voices, action and beauty. From that, they use their talents to earn money easily from singing, gameshows,

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

Correct word choice

and flim

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flim

Correct your spelling

film

In addition

Linking Words

, thanks to the growth of the entertainment industry and its global

appear

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appearance

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, famous stars can earn a huge profit from their presence or stage performances.

For example

Linking Words

, Blackpink is known as

famous

Correct article usage

a famous

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k-pop

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K-pop

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girl group from

Korean

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Korea

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and they

earn

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earned

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about 13,6

milion

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million

usd

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USD

with two

nights-performance

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performances

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in Hanoi

nearly

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apply

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Moreover

Linking Words

the

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apply

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another

reasons

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reason

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is they leverage the value of their personal brand

due to

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which they command a price for any appearance or create their own business.

For instance

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, one of

members

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the members

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from BP, Jennie

who

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apply

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has been a Chanel ambassador with

attractive

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an attractive

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salary.

This

Linking Words

is opposite to most politicians who are subject to state and legal management that

prevent

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prevents

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them from

earn

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earning

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excessively more money. Through

this

Linking Words

theory,

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argue that

this

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trend will

exist

Verb problem

have

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some disadvantages for society. Most of all, when

basic

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the basic

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salary of stars is higher than politicians, some people who

interested

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are interested

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in politics or talented individuals

unable

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are unable

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to maintain their hobby occupation. Because of living, they have to choose other jobs with high salary.

As a result

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, a shortage of qualified national leaders may occur and

losing

Verb problem

apply

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the importance of the government system. Nowadays,

generations

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Generation

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attempt

Correct subject-verb agreement

attempts

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to become influencers on popular social media

such

Linking Words

as TikTok and Instagram to have more income. A

sociey

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society

worried about fame

than

Rephrase

rather than

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core

Add an article

the core

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personality of

human

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humans

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is very warning.

This

Linking Words

trend can have bad effects on societal cohesion. In conclusion, entertainers make more money

due to

Linking Words

the advent of the media age and it will

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

imbalance

Correct article usage

an imbalance

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in social cohesion and

job

Correct article usage

the job

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market if they are not prevented

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

early.

khoiminhnguyen1411Tue Oct 17 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on whether this is a positive or negative development.

coherence cohesion

Use transitions to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.

grammatical range accuracy

Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorsements
revenue streams
global presence
diversified branding
income sources
free-market principles
market value
government budgets
public funds
public perception
value generation
bureaucratic
consumer spending
economic implications

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Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting peop/e or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Art classes such as painting and drawing are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?