IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The internet could revolutionize the world in the future, if everyone could have easy access to all information that is available on the world wide web. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #world #future #access #information #web
The world is going through
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rapid digital transformation pace. Many
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that it would reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its maximum peak where everyone should get all sorts of details through online platforms, which could be revolutionary by itself. I strongly agree with
this
 statement,
due to
 educational and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 aspects.
This
 essay extends to examine the main reasons for my opinion about
this
 issue. In the first step, if one wants to reach the backbone of any education system,
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
 could reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
relevant
information
 only, which
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not limited
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 materials, exam books and in-depth research documents. The way of explanation, a PhD study
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one topic where a student
requires
Wrong verb form
is required
show examples
 to prepare
thesis
Add an article
a thesis
show examples
 of 400 pages after analysing the related subject
information
. Notably, when
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
data
 is easily accessible on
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
 digital
portal
Fix the agreement mistake
portals
show examples
then
 it would
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
 make
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy life
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a student, and reduce the timeline of that task.
For instance
, in
this
 current era,
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
 of doctorate study is reduced from
earlier
Correct article usage
an earlier
show examples
 time period of 2-3 years to 6 months to 1 year, here the primary reason was the accessible
information
 through
search
Add an article
a search
show examples
engine
Fix the agreement mistake
engines
show examples
 like Google.
Thus
, it is a clear picture of
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 impact on education, because of online upgradation.
Additionally
, the prosperous condition of the economy should
also
 be obtained by international interaction, which is rooted in vital
data
.
Also
, digital marketing which is the most popular way of product selling, is based on
data
 access and user preferences. These things
are depend
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on speedy and reliable online
data
 only.
For example
, all marketing companies are taking
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 of online surveys and online booking to
exapnd
Correct your spelling
expand
 their business.
Furthermore
, these digital
marketors
Correct your spelling
marketers
markers
 can
pedict
Correct your spelling
predict
 which
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 or qualities are suitable for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific set of consumers.
Nonetheless
, the leading
data
 may
provide
Wrong verb form
be provided
show examples
 as metadata, which is needed to compile by experts or any methods. So, from my point of view, the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 can play a
paly
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 in marketing and business. In conclusion, one of the key
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 which would change the world, is to expand the reach of
information
 to each corner of it. I firmly believe that the most fruitful impact can be seen
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
 and financial sectors.
Submitted by AnkitV on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to clearly state your position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Add more supporting details to strengthen your main points.
task achievement
Include specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionize
  • world wide web
  • access
  • information
  • innovation
  • progress
  • connectivity
  • global communication
  • information overload
  • misinformation
  • equal access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: