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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #information #bus #company #summarise #features #comparisons
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The first bar chart illustrates the data on the ratio of arriving on actual and targeted
time
Use synonyms
 of services;
however
Linking Words
, the second chart shows the figures for complaints per a thousand
passenger's
Change noun form
passengers
show examples
travels
Correct your spelling
travelling
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 for a transportation business between 1999 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the percentages of targeted
time
Use synonyms
 of
arrivals
Use synonyms
 exhibited a downward trend, the figures for complaints from
passengers
Use synonyms
 escalated from 1999 to 2003.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
actual
Add an article
the actual
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 of
arrivals
Use synonyms
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
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 throughout the period. The company's
arrivals
Use synonyms
 on targeted
time
Use synonyms
 was 86% in 1999 and 2000 before declining to 85% in 2001 and 2002. In 2003, it experienced
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unsignificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
 decrease of 0.5%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the ratio actual
time
Use synonyms
 on
arrivals
Use synonyms
 was 85% which hitting a bottom of 82% in 2000 before escalating back to below 85% in 2001.
Then
Linking Words
, it fluctuated at around 85-84%
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end of the period. In terms of the number of passenger complaints, there was a reverse correlation between the figures and the targeted
arrivals
Use synonyms
 on
time
Use synonyms
 of the company. It
was starting
Wrong verb form
started
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 escalating at nearly 70% of
passengers
Use synonyms
 which increased to 100
passengers
Use synonyms
 per thousand in 2000. After a slight drop in 2001, it rocketed to over 100 and 120
passengers
Use synonyms
 per thousand in 2002 and 2003, respectively.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, arrivals, passengers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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