IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003. 
 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003. 
 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #information #bus #company #summarise #features #comparisons
The first bar chart illustrates the data on the ratio of arriving on actual and targeted
time
 of services;
however
, the second chart shows the figures for complaints per a thousand
passenger's
Change noun form
passengers
show examples
travels
Correct your spelling
travelling
show examples
 for a transportation business between 1999 and 2004.
Overall
,
while
 the percentages of targeted
time
 of
arrivals
 exhibited a downward trend, the figures for complaints from
passengers
 escalated from 1999 to 2003.
On the other hand
,
actual
Add an article
the actual
show examples
time
 of
arrivals
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
show examples
 throughout the period. The company's
arrivals
 on targeted
time
 was 86% in 1999 and 2000 before declining to 85% in 2001 and 2002. In 2003, it experienced
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unsignificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
 decrease of 0.5%.
On the contrary
, the ratio actual
time
 on
arrivals
 was 85% which hitting a bottom of 82% in 2000 before escalating back to below 85% in 2001.
Then
, it fluctuated at around 85-84%
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end of the period. In terms of the number of passenger complaints, there was a reverse correlation between the figures and the targeted
arrivals
 on
time
 of the company. It
was starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 escalating at nearly 70% of
passengers
 which increased to 100
passengers
 per thousand in 2000. After a slight drop in 2001, it rocketed to over 100 and 120
passengers
 per thousand in 2002 and 2003, respectively.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, arrivals, passengers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: