In many countries, crime rates among younger people have been rising in recent years. What are the causes of this, and what are the possible solutions?

In many nations, the number of offenders is growing rapidly among young
people
. The causes of
this
are lack of education and poverty and two possible solutions are providing
job
opportunities and supporting the
government
. The first cause of
crime
among the young generation is low education.
This
is to say, in today's world, an uneducated
person
is unlikely to get a
job
, which often results in the pressure of making a way of living and leads them on a path of crimes. Another real cause of
this
issue is poorness. To put it another way,
people
who live poorly,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need money to survive. If a
person
wants to put food on a table for their family,
however
, men or women are not earning at all, the only option they would have is to rob another
person
.
For example
, it has been proven many times that just over 20% of adolescent criminals in Kazakhstan are found to be
poverty
Change preposition
in poverty
show examples
which forces them to commit a
crime
against another
person
. The first solution is support from the administration can play a vital role in getting rid of these issues.
This
implies that the
government
should provide free medication, no fee charge for school and university, they should access any kind of jobs that are available for younger
people
, and
as a result
, they will
less
Add a missing verb
be less
show examples
probably
Rephrase
likely to
show examples
commit any kind of
crime
. The second solution is for young
people
to get a
job
.
In other words
,
people
who work are busy earning money in order to provide for their families. In
this
process, the
government
must aid the unemployed
to find
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
a
job
.
Consequently
, it will decrease offence in the cities. A very good example of
this
is, research conducted in Uzbekistan that concluded that youth
crime
rates have decreased by over 35% since 2020
due to
government
support for youth. In conclusion, young
people
may suffer from poverty and lack of jobs, and to solve
this
problem, the
government
needs to support and provide them with jobs.
Submitted by berdimuratovaybek on

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coherence cohesion
Expand on the causes of crime among young people. Provide more in-depth analysis and examples to support your points.
task achievement
Make sure to address both the causes and possible solutions in a balanced manner. Currently, the focus is more on the causes.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity and organization of your ideas. The essay lacks a clear structure and logical flow.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay. Avoid repetitive phrases and explore synonyms.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. There are several errors throughout the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental supervision
  • guidance and monitoring
  • economic hardships
  • glamorize
  • insufficient educational opportunities
  • peer pressure
  • substance abuse
  • impaired judgment
  • propensity for criminal behavior
  • rehabilitation programs
  • job training and employment opportunities
  • positive recreational activities
  • community support and engagement
  • youth mentorship programs
  • anti-drug campaigns
  • awareness and prevention initiatives
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