IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life.

#people #career #path #lives #life
In contemporary society, there is a belief that early career decision-making can lead to greater
job
satisfaction
.
While
this
 approach may indeed prove effective in certain professions, I contend that it is not a universal rule and can have adverse consequences in some situations. On one hand, committing to a specific career path from a young age can be advantageous, particularly in specialized academic fields.
For example
, a medical career demands a substantial investment of time, effort, and financial resources, necessitating an early start.
Such
 a commitment can result in financial stability and increase the likelihood of securing a well-paid
job
, especially in corporate settings.
However
,
this
 approach is not universally applicable to all individuals or careers. Holding onto a single
job
 from a young age may deprive young people of the opportunity to explore different fields,
missing
Wrong verb form
causing them to miss
show examples
 a crucial chance to discover their true characteristics and talents during their prime years when they are full of energy and enthusiasm. Being trapped in a monotonous and uninspiring office
job
 can lead to a sense of drudgery, leading to frustration and even depression.
Job
satisfaction
 can be attained through various means.
Firstly
, an individual should view their occupation as more than just a means to cover daily living expenses; it should be seen as an engaging and enjoyable pursuit.
Otherwise
, it can become a tedious task repeated day after day, resulting in frustration.
Secondly
, fostering positive and supportive relationships with colleagues can significantly enhance
job
satisfaction
. Finding oneself in a friendly and collaborative work environment can positively affect one's mental well-being, leading to improved cooperation and making the
job
 more enjoyable and fulfilling. In conclusion, I believe that
job
satisfaction
 is a multi-dimensional concept that depends on numerous factors, rather than a single determining factor.
Submitted by jacob.nazaradeh on

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task response
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and effectively supported with specific examples and evidence. Make sure to maintain a clear and cohesive structure throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure, ensuring that there is a smooth progression of ideas. Use linking words and cohesive devices to effectively connect and organize the information.
lexical resource
Enhance the range of vocabulary by using a variety of synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and more sophisticated language where appropriate. Aim for precision and specificity in word choice to convey nuanced meanings.
grammatical range
Continue to demonstrate a good command of grammar and sentence structure, utilizing a range of complex and simple structures effectively. Pay attention to sentence variety and accuracy in order to convey ideas clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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