IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that to become a good teacher, you should acquire enough training, while others say that teaching capibilities can be developed with experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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"Academic knowledge" versus "experimental insight" is a hot topic in various
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects

It seems that aspect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of life.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a group of people argue that a great
teacher
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is formed by adequate learning and training, others think that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is the key. The former group
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb mention. Consider changing it.

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 that education is an academic subject with a deep research and study background, and the latter
point
Replace the word
pointed

The word point doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 to the previous generations'
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
where
Correct word choice
who

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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were capable of motivating tens of young children at once. I, frankly, think neither an absolute academic approach is the final answer, nor is the
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, solely. The insights a person gains throughout his or her life make a great pathway towards the goal. So is teaching
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 clerics, the spiritual mentors of the past centuries, have not attended a class
with
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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subject
Add an article
the subject

The noun phrase subject seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 of education, they could easily take their audiences' attention for long periods of time. During my parents' childhood,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, their
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 were only high school graduates. They barely attended
some
Correct determiner usage
any

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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 college classes, let alone understand anything about
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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education. Those who promote the idea of "Teaching is gained through
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

" claim that these observations in the past lead us toward
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 an approach.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, science has changed every way of getting knowledge. From the early age of
enlightenment
Capitalize word
Enlightenment

The word enlightenment should be capitalized in this context.

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, when
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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scientists gradually
start
Wrong verb form
started

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb start. Consider changing it.

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 to take over the realm of thought, until today, educational sciences have changed a lot. Nowadays new pieces of educational equipment have emerged and there are many schools of thought regarding
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 subject. Half a century ago,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, classrooms all around the globe were almost the same. Seats were placed in rows towards
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 side of the class, where the
teacher
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 used to stand. But today, at least in many Western schools, pupils sit in
circular
Add an article
a circular

The noun phrase circular formation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 formation, simply to imply
the
Correct article usage
an

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 interactive manner. So, all of the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research

It seems that researches may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 done
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says

It seems that the verb say does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 that
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
shall
Verb problem
should

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 pave the training path. I believe in a mixed
atitude
Correct your spelling
attitude

If you don’t want atitude to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. I certainly agree that the training process is core vital for a
teacher
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, but as the
teacher
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 gets more experienced, his or her teaching abilities get personalized and smoother. Great
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 understand psychology, body language, and the importance of control over their voice, all thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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science and their personal or collective experiences. All in all, both camps have valid arguments regarding what they are advocating. Despite their validity, I think the arguments are not complete without
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other

If you don’t want eachother to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. In fact,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 are two wings to fly; no bird can fly with only one.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Expand on your supporting arguments with more specific examples or evidence.
grammatical range accuracy
Consider using more varied sentence structures to improve grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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