IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that to become a good teacher, you should acquire enough training, while others say that teaching capibilities can be developed with experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teacher #capibilities
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"Academic knowledge" versus "experimental insight" is a hot topic in various
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 of life.
While
Linking Words
 a group of people argue that a great
teacher
Use synonyms
 is formed by adequate learning and training, others think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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experience
Use synonyms
 is the key. The former group
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
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 that education is an academic subject with a deep research and study background, and the latter
point
Replace the word
pointed
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 to the previous generations'
teachers
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,
where
Correct word choice
who
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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were capable of motivating tens of young children at once. I, frankly, think neither an absolute academic approach is the final answer, nor is the
experience
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, solely. The insights a person gains throughout his or her life make a great pathway towards the goal. So is teaching
experience
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 clerics, the spiritual mentors of the past centuries, have not attended a class
with
Change preposition
on
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subject
Add an article
the subject
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 of education, they could easily take their audiences' attention for long periods of time. During my parents' childhood,
for example
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, their
teachers
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 were only high school graduates. They barely attended
some
Correct determiner usage
any
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 college classes, let alone understand anything about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education. Those who promote the idea of "Teaching is gained through
experience
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" claim that these observations in the past lead us toward
such
Linking Words
 an approach.
On the other hand
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, science has changed every way of getting knowledge. From the early age of
enlightenment
Capitalize word
Enlightenment
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, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientists gradually
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 to take over the realm of thought, until today, educational sciences have changed a lot. Nowadays new pieces of educational equipment have emerged and there are many schools of thought regarding
this
Linking Words
 subject. Half a century ago,
for instance
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, classrooms all around the globe were almost the same. Seats were placed in rows towards
a
Correct article usage
the
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 side of the class, where the
teacher
Use synonyms
 used to stand. But today, at least in many Western schools, pupils sit in
circular
Add an article
a circular
show examples
 formation, simply to imply
the
Correct article usage
an
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 interactive manner. So, all of the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 done
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
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 that
teachers
Use synonyms
shall
Verb problem
should
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 pave the training path. I believe in a mixed
atitude
Correct your spelling
attitude
. I certainly agree that the training process is core vital for a
teacher
Use synonyms
, but as the
teacher
Use synonyms
 gets more experienced, his or her teaching abilities get personalized and smoother. Great
teachers
Use synonyms
 understand psychology, body language, and the importance of control over their voice, all thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science and their personal or collective experiences. All in all, both camps have valid arguments regarding what they are advocating. Despite their validity, I think the arguments are not complete without
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
. In fact,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are two wings to fly; no bird can fly with only one.
Submitted by farzam.dowlati on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Expand on your supporting arguments with more specific examples or evidence.
grammatical range accuracy
Consider using more varied sentence structures to improve grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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