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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. can you write this eassy

In the field of education, there is ongoing debate about whether schools should prioritize teaching
children
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 to be competitive or focus more on
cooperation
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 and teamwork.
While
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 some argue that a competitive environment prepares students for the real world, others believe that learning to work with others is more valuable in today’s interconnected society.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a reasoned conclusion. On one hand, proponents of teaching competitiveness argue that it drives students to excel. In a competitive setting,
children
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 are often more motivated to perform well, achieve high grades, and strive for personal success.
This
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 mindset can help them build resilience, set goals, and prepare for the challenges of adult life,
such
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 as job interviews, promotions, and entrepreneurship.
Moreover
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, in some industries, individual performance is heavily rewarded, and a competitive attitude can be a strong asset.
On the other hand
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, many educators and psychologists advocate for an emphasis on
cooperation
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. They argue that teaching
children
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 how to work in teams, communicate effectively, and support one another is crucial for both personal development and professional success. In today’s global economy, most workplaces value collaboration and the ability to work well with others across diverse backgrounds. Cooperative learning
also
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 fosters empathy, reduces bullying, and helps build a supportive school environment. In my opinion,
while
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 a degree of healthy competition can be beneficial,
cooperation
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 and teamwork should be the primary focus in education. The ability to collaborate, solve problems together, and contribute to a group effort is essential not only in most careers but
also
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 in daily life.
Furthermore
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, emphasizing
cooperation
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 over competition can reduce stress and anxiety among students and promote a more inclusive and positive learning experience. In conclusion, both competition and
cooperation
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 have roles to play in education.
However
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, in an increasingly interconnected and collaborative world, schools should prioritize teaching
children
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 the value of teamwork
while
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 still encouraging personal achievement in a supportive environment.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader know your position right away.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition'. This improves flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or real-life scenarios to strengthen your points and make them more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The argument for cooperation is well explained and relevant to today's society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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